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The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. v.4

The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. v. 4
Cell phones have become very common among everyone, thanks to the technological advancements, the handheld device is available starting from few pennies to even millions of dollars. These tools, depending on features that they come along with, can perform multiple operations. While the technology geeks encourage the uptrend, luddites talk about negative impacts that such devices can bring into the society. Both these arguments will be carefully analysed before arriving at a reasoned conclusion. These portable devices have become an indispensable part of our mind which requires entertainment-on-demand. For instance, such devices accessing high-speed network can stream a high definition video live. These devices are also being constructively used to control the smart appliances at home remotely from anywhere in the world. In addition to this, the cell phone is used for improving one’s fitness through some useful application that can help through different fitness routines replacing the need for a trainer. In short, the mobile phones are replacing many other types of equipment and emerging as a one-stop solution for many requirements. On the other hand, due to smartphones, people are glued to their smartphone screens even during meetings in office and also while at home. To illustrate, phubbing has become one of the leading bad behaviours in recent years. Specifically, the situation in some of the house is so worse that they chat with their sibling in next room instead of talking to them. To conclude, the socialisation among the social animal is taking place in an unconventional way. This can lead to loss of linguistic speaking skills in a long term. Considering the points of view of both camps, the cell phones have many advantages than disadvantages but it is advocated to use the technology judiciously and ensure overall development of human society
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common among everyone, thanks to the technological advancements, the handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
is available starting from few pennies to even millions of dollars. These tools, depending on features that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along with, can perform multiple operations. While the technology geeks encourage the uptrend,
Possible spelling mistake found.
luddites
talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
can bring into the society. Both these arguments will be
carefully
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at a reasoned conclusion.

These portable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have become an indispensable part of our mind which requires entertainment-on-demand.
For instance
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
accessing high-speed network can stream a high definition video
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are
also
being
constructively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to control the smart appliances at home
remotely
from anywhere in the world.
In addition
to this, the cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for improving one’s fitness through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful application that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fitness routines replacing the need for a trainer. In short, the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are replacing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other types of equipment and emerging as a one-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
solution for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
requirements.

On the other hand
, due to smartphones,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are glued
to their smartphone screens even during meetings in office and
also
while at home. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
phubbing
has become one of the leading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in recent years.
Specifically
, the situation in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
worse that they chat with their sibling in
next
room
instead
of talking to them.
To conclude
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
among the social animal is taking place
Consider replacing "in an unconventional way" with the adverb for "unconventional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an unconventional way
. This can lead to loss of linguistic speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a long term.

Considering the points of view of both camps, the cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages than disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is advocated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the technology
judiciously
and ensure
overall
development of human society
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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