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Most centuries important part of education have remained such as reading, writing and Math with the advent of computer. some people think that computers can be made as fourth skill to be added to the list. What extent agree ot disagreee v.1

Most centuries important part of education have remained such as reading, writing and Math with the advent of computer. some people think that computers can be made as fourth skill to be added to the list. What extent agree ot disagreee v. 1
In this era, numerous people migrate their hometown from the suburb area to urbanisation area. According to the individual idea, some group of the younger person leaves rural hometown for various purposes, such as work and study. Even through, leaving the homes of young people can be advantageous, it also adversely affect. ` Several justifications are complained by some group of young people why they decide to leave their homes. The first and conceivably the most obvious reason is the quality of educational institutions, numerous adolescents decide to look for the famous school or university because several courses are provided through the faculty and program. Additionally, most institutions allocate the professor for the learner effectively, particularly the experts who have specific skills and plenty of knowledges. Another point to consider is welfare, if youth finds a job, the collaboration provides the insurance and high salary more than rural areas. Moreover, in the city has easy to transport such as Skytrain, bus station, and underground. This way can save their money as well as conveniences. According to some aspects of the topic, the youth’ consideration about leaving their own areas can be negative aspects. In city’ lives has the high cost of living, whether transportation or tax. This action impacts on people who bring their own cars into cities that might be have high petrol prices because the city area is frequently crowed and traffic congestion, making users feel terrible. In conclusion, the essay argues that various reasons why there are a number of younger persons consider to leave their rural places. However, this action can be beneficial, leaving home has some drawbacks. Personally, I believe that the advantages obviously outweigh disadvantages. As a suggestion, the government should launch a campaign to develop the rural areas, especially the welfare, business, and education for everyone fairly.
In this era, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate their hometown from the suburb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
area.

According to the individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of the younger person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
hometown for various purposes, such as work and study. Even through, leaving the homes of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be advantageous, it
also
adversely
affect. `

Several justifications
are complained
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
why they decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their homes. The
first
and
conceivably
the most obvious reason is the quality of educational institutions, numerous adolescents decide to look for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
school or university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
several courses
are provided
through the faculty and program.
Additionally
, most institutions allocate the professor for the learner
effectively
,
particularly
the experts who have specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
. Another point to consider is welfare, if youth finds a job, the collaboration provides the insurance and high salary more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Moreover
, in the city has easy to transport such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Skytrain
, bus station, and underground. This way can save their money
as well
as conveniences.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of the topic, the youth’ consideration about leaving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. In city’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
has the high cost of living, whether transportation or tax. This action impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
that might be
Consider using the past participle "had"?
have
high petrol prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is
frequently
crowed and traffic congestion, making users feel terrible.

In conclusion
, the essay argues that various reasons why there are a number of younger persons consider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
places.
However
, this action can be beneficial, leaving home has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
Personally
, I believe that the advantages
obviously
outweigh disadvantages. As a suggestion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should launch a campaign to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
especially
the welfare, business, and education for everyone
fairly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Most centuries important part of education have remained such as reading, writing and Math with the advent of computer. some people think that computers can be made as fourth skill to be added to the list. What extent agree ot disagreee v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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