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Many people believe children should begin learning a foreign language in primary school instead of secondary school. Do you think the advantages of learning a foreign language in primary school outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Many people believe children should begin learning a foreign language in primary school instead of secondary school. Do you think the advantages of learning a foreign language in primary school outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Nature is essential for human beings. Undoubtedly, the major reason for global warming is because of human activity. There are various problems caused by the climatic change. This essay will discuss about the possible reasons for global warming and what can be done to curb the same. The principal reason for global warming is because of deforestation. In other words, forests are destroyed in order to construct buildings and bridges, which leads to the destruction of trees. For instance, research conducted by the World Environment Organisation demonstrated that seventy percent of the rationale behind earth getting heated up is due to deforestation. The second reason for global warming is due to emission of toxic gasses, which damages the Ozone layer. Owing to the increased use of Chloro Fluro Carbon, the Ozone layer which protects the earth from heating is now damaged. For example, a study conducted by the UK government illustrated that this layer is the crucial one for the earth fro being affected by direct heat waves. Consequently, deforestation and usage of venom gasses are the main reasons for global warming. There are several methods that a government and an individual should follow to overcome these problems. Firstly, the government should strictly band the destruction of forest and heavy fines should be charged if trees are cut by the public. Secondly, people should refrain from using any machinery like fridge and Air-Conditioners that produces toxic gasses and look for an alternative. As a result, the earth becomes cooler and safe to live on. In conclusion, I strongly believe that if the government and people stop chopping of trees and stays away from the usage of machines that produces poisonous gasses, the earth becomes cooler and safer for the future generation.
Nature is essential for human beings.
Undoubtedly
, the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of human activity. There are various problems caused by the climatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
and what can
be done
to curb the same.

The principal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of deforestation.
In other words
, forests are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
in order to construct buildings and bridges, which leads to the destruction of trees.
For instance
, research conducted by the World Environment
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
demonstrated that seventy percent of the rationale behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
getting heated up is due to deforestation. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is due to emission of toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
, which damages the Ozone layer. Owing to the increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chloro
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fluro
Carbon, the Ozone layer which protects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
from heating is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
damaged.
For example
, a study conducted by the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
illustrated that this layer is the crucial one for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
Did you mean "for" or "from"?
fro
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by direct heat waves.
Consequently
, deforestation and usage of venom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
are the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.

There are several methods that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and an individual should follow to overcome these problems.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
strictly
band the destruction of forest and heavy fines should
be charged
if trees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
by the public.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should refrain from using any machinery like fridge and Air-Conditioners that produces toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
and look for an alternative.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
becomes cooler and safe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
chopping of trees and stays away from the usage of machines that produces poisonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasses
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
becomes cooler and safer for the future generation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe children should begin learning a foreign language in primary school instead of secondary school. Do you think the advantages of learning a foreign language in primary school outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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