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Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All levels of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extend do you agree with this opinion? v.2

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All levels of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. v. 2
No one can deny the importance of education, but nowadays many children cannot go to school because of their low economic conditions. Therefore education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All levels of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. From my perspective, I agree it is vital everyone is educated. However, I disagree that every level should not be paid for. On the one hand, the government does not waste money on nonsense things instead of spending money for children to go to school. There are a lot of smart children do not go to school and that is the reason why their generation after generations are still in difficult situations so that if the fee of schooling is free, those children can go to school, later, they support their family with better conditions. As you know, children are future of the country, thus children deserve to be educated. Besides they construct country much better. On the other hand, it is unnecessary to provide an amount of money for children to study university. At the age of 18, those children start to take responsibility for their actions especially their life. Do not have to get tertiary education, they can choose variety kinds of job like bartender, flight attendant, actor, . . without university degree. They will be trained and be gotten their job certificate. By that, they can find money, live on themselves. In conclusion, education is a basic need of all people, so it should be free from primary school to tertiary education. Besides it is more suitable if free to high school
No one can deny the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their low economic conditions.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be accessible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all economic backgrounds. All levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, from primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it is vital everyone
is educated
.
However
, I disagree that every level should not
be paid
for.

On the one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on nonsense things
instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
that is
the reason why their generation after generations are
still
in difficult situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that if the fee of schooling is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, later, they support their family with better conditions. As you know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are future of the country,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
deserve to
be educated
.
Besides
they construct country much better.

On the other hand
, it is unnecessary to provide an amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study university. At the age of 18, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to take responsibility for their actions
especially
their life. Do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they can choose variety kinds of job like bartender, flight attendant, actor
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
without
university degree. They will
be trained
and
be gotten
their job certificate. By that, they can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on themselves.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a basic need of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
from primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
it is more suitable if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to high
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
school
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All levels of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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