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some people think that government should band dangerous sports, while other think that every people have freedom to different sports and activities. Discuss and give your own opinion. v.2

some people think that government should band dangerous sports, while other think that every people have freedom to different sports and activities. Discuss and give your own opinion. v. 2
with the steady growth in modernisation, The life style of people have been greatly affected. they have achieved various milestones; However, some issues remain unchallenged and as complex as ever. one such issue here is of Whether authorities should ban dangerous sports or not? Through this essay, I shall explore the dimensions of this topic through examples, assertions and shape up my opinion by the end. To commence with, there are numerous of people who believe that government should ban dangerous sports such as ridding cycle on hills because these types of sports telecast on television and that sports are watching by the children after that they are trying dangerous sports at their home. Due to this, some time it had accident just behind the reason authorities should ban dangerous sports. The best epitome is that the survey conducted by " Hindustan Time" (newspaper) people are doing dangerous sports at their home and some time they lose their life. On the flip side, the group of people who believe that people should have freedom to do any activity or sports. There are two main reason for this. The first and foremost reason that comes to my mind is that people should pay any activity as they are more healthy. Moreover, if people are playing different sports as they can participate in sports competition as well as they show there talent in front of others owing to this sports are quite good for earn the name and fame. So that' s why, government should not ban sports because every people have freedom to do any sports. In conclusion, As we have seen number of answers for this question still, I believe that people should not play the dangerous sports, but I also think that should implement some rules and regulations for the dangerous activities but should not be banned.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
the steady growth in
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
, The life style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
have achieved various milestones;
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues remain unchallenged and as complex as ever.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
such issue here is of Whether authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or not? Through this essay, I shall explore the dimensions of this topic through examples, assertions and shape up my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

To commence with, there are numerous of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as ridding cycle on hills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
telecast on television and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are watching by the children after that they are trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
at their home. Due to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time it had accident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
behind the reason authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The best epitome is that the survey conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Hindustan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Time&quot
; (newspaper)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
at their home and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time they lose their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
.

On the flip side, the group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have freedom to do any activity or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. There are two main reason for this. The
first
and foremost reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to my mind is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay any activity as they are more healthy.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as they can participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competition
as well
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
there talent in front of others owing to
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for earn the name and fame.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Possible spelling mistake found.
that&
#039; s why,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have freedom to do any sports.

In conclusion
, As we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
number of answers for this question
still
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not play the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that should implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should not
be banned
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay some people think that government should band dangerous sports, while other think that every people have freedom to different sports and activities. Discuss and give your own opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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