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Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability. agree or disagree? Give reasons and example. v.5

Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability. agree or disagree? Give reasons and example. v. 5
It is common knowledge that there has been many universities and colleges in various qualities over the past years. There are many kinds of components which must be paid attention to. It needless to say that everyone has the right to an education and no one can take this away, but is it necessary to express that different levels of people should be admitted in university? As far as my experience concerned, governments should make an effort to gain control of eligibility of people who want to study in university, in other words, they need to make fundamental arrangement for accepting students. In my view, it is crucially associated with their educational visions, which means how qualify they are. For example, the main reason resulted in this situation is to reduce unemployment rate in some countries and it generally conducts opportunities for everyone. On the other hand, Many suggest that people have to be informed by going to college whether or not they are eligible and no one else has the right to make that choice for them. Secondly, they should be able to warned with respect to their job and get familiar with different careers or occupations. Lastly, a wide range of people hold the opinion thank to studying in university which might play a great role how to behave with individuals who are closely linked with them, in particular, when people make contribution to their family or community. As a consequence, they are fully aware about many things as much. In conclusion, Despite having a lot of profits, there has been highly controversial arguments in this issue which probably could be due to political and economical problems which knot to education. Hence, governments have responsibility to make changes in their policies to permitting all those who want to be allowed in university programs. Also, they should be categorized regarding to their talent.
It is common knowledge that there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges in various qualities over the past years. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of components which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be paid
attention to.
It seems that a verb is missing after "It". Please verify.
It
needless to say that everyone has the right to an education and no one can take this away,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is it necessary to express that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be admitted
in university?

As far as my experience concerned,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an effort to gain control of eligibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
in other words
, they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
fundamental arrangement for accepting students. In my view, it is
crucially
associated with their educational visions, which means how qualify they are.
For example
, the main reason resulted in this situation is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment rate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries and it
generally
conducts opportunities for everyone.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be informed
by going to college
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
they are eligible and no one else has the right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
that choice for them.
Secondly
, they should be able to warned with respect to their job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
careers or occupations.
Lastly
, a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the opinion thank to studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
which might play a great role how to behave with individuals who are
closely
linked with them,
in particular
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
contribution to their family or community. As a consequence, they are
fully
aware about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things as much.

In conclusion
, Despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
profits, there has been
highly
controversial arguments in this issue which
probably
could be due to political and
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
problems which knot to education.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their policies to permitting all those who want to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
programs.
Also
, they should
be categorized
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
their talent.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability. agree or disagree? Give reasons and example. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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