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Some people think that government is wasting money in the arts. And this money can be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Some people think that government is wasting money in the arts. And this money can be spent elsewhere. v. 2
In recent times governments around the world are investing more and more in the field of arts. Some people believe it as wastage of wealth and it should be utilized in more pressing matters. I believe, arts is a universal field and spending money in arts is productive for the whole community. Scientific developments are considered to lay paradigm of the future of a nation. It is argued that, investing in technological developments would be more fruitful in comparison to arts. Because it would help a nation become self reliant, subsequently, generating its own products to improve economy. Furthermore, in some parts of the world poverty and joblessness are fundamental issues. In such countries most of the population is under poverty line. Therefore it is suggested that government should provide opportunities for jobless individuals. As a result families would be able to support themselves and this would ensure a better future for them. However, arts itself is a productive field, meanwhile certain nations are significantly benefiting from it. For instance, Indian government is investing millions of dollars in cinema and music industry. Consequently, their film industry is generating almost one third of India' s annual budget. Thus economy is generated and circulated within a country. Another example is European art, governments are spending alot to preserve historical buildings and precious arts from renaissance era. As a result tourism is increasing every year in European continent. Moreover, arts also define customs and traditions of society. Thereby, acting as a platform for youths to get acquainted with their history and cultures. To conclude, although some oppose the idea of investment in arts. I agree to fact that, governments supporting arts are following a prolific idea and it will prove to be fruitful for them and their entire nation in the near future.
In recent times
governments
around the world are investing more and more in the field of
arts
.
Some
people
believe it as wastage of wealth and it should
be utilized
in more pressing matters. I believe,
arts
is a universal field and spending money in
arts
is productive for the whole community.

Scientific developments
are considered
to lay paradigm of the future of a
nation
. It
is argued
that, investing in technological developments would be more fruitful
in comparison
to
arts
.
Because
it would
help
a
nation
become
self reliant
,
subsequently
, generating its
own
products to
improve
economy.
Furthermore
, in
some
parts of the world poverty and joblessness are fundamental issues. In such countries most of the population is under poverty line.
Therefore
it
is suggested
that
government
should provide opportunities for jobless individuals.
As a result
families would be able to support themselves and this would ensure a better future for them.

However
,
arts
itself is a productive field, meanwhile certain
nations
are
significantly
benefiting from it.
For instance
, Indian
government
is investing millions of dollars in cinema and music industry.
Consequently
, their film industry is generating almost one third of
India&
#039; s annual budget.
Thus
economy
is generated
and circulated within a country. Another example is European
art
,
governments
are spending
alot
to preserve historical buildings and precious
arts
from renaissance era.
As
a result tourism is increasing every year in European continent.
Moreover
,
arts
also
define customs and traditions of society. Thereby, acting as a platform for youths to
get
acquainted with their history and cultures.

To conclude
, although
some
oppose the
idea
of investment in
arts
. I
agree
to fact that,
governments
supporting
arts
are following a prolific
idea
and it will prove to be fruitful for them and their entire
nation
in the near future.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money in the arts. And this money can be spent elsewhere. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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