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Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money can be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.3

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money can be spent elsewhere. with this view? v. 3
Art and culture are mirrors of a society. It depicts the lifestyle of its people. Although some people believe that the entertainment industry is not needed at all as it is useless as per them, but I feel that artists have a pivotal role to play in the development of any nation. In this essay, I want to put forth my views to support that the expenditure by the government in this sector is completely justifiable. The actors, painters and others from the entertainment industry provide the much required relaxation to the common men in an otherwise tough world. Their plays or films depict what is happening day to day life in a country. They provide various perspectives on the problems of the mankind, which are sometimes thought provoking. Many times, the poets present a satirical view of a situation which is similar to the truth, in such a way as not to offend anyone. The public learns so much from such depiction. Movies based on the biography or mythology or historical events are a common phenomenon today. Examples of such films from the Bollywood are Jodha Akbar, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, Bajirao Mastani, etc. Our culture and tradition are preserved by the entertainers. Kids enjoy going to the circus and watching the tricks performed there. Art connects us to our roots, which we have otherwise forgotten. To conclude, I would like to mention that art is as important as education or healthcare for any civilization to grow. We need to encourage artists, so that the traditions stay alive in any nation.
Art and culture are mirrors of a society. It depicts the lifestyle of its
people
. Although
some
people
believe that the entertainment industry is not needed at all as it is useless as per them,
but
I feel that artists have a pivotal role to play in the development of any nation. In this essay, I want to put forth my views to support that the expenditure by the
government
in this sector is completely justifiable.

The actors, painters
and others
from the entertainment industry provide the much required relaxation to the common
men
in an
otherwise
tough world. Their plays or films depict what is happening day to day life in a country. They provide various perspectives on the problems of the mankind, which are
sometimes
thought provoking
.
Many
times, the poets present a satirical view of a situation which is similar to the truth, in such a way as not to offend anyone. The public learns
so
much from such depiction. Movies based on the biography or mythology or historical
events
are a common phenomenon
today
. Examples of such films from the Bollywood are
Jodha
Akbar,
Bhaag
Milkha
Bhaag
,
Bajirao
Mastani
, etc.

Our culture and tradition
are preserved
by the entertainers. Kids enjoy going to the circus and watching the tricks performed there. Art connects us to our roots, which we have
otherwise
forgotten.

To conclude
, I would like to mention that art is as
important
as education or healthcare for any civilization to grow. We need to encourage artists,
so
that the traditions stay alive in any nation.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money can be spent elsewhere. with this view? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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