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some people believe that physical fitness of strong individuas and teams is the reason for most sport achievements. Other however, think that mental attitude is more important. discuss both the view and give your own opinion. v.2

some people believe that physical fitness of strong individuas and teams is the reason for most sport achievements. Other however, think that mental attitude is more important. v. 2
Sports play phenomenal role to uplift the standard of health and wealth. Presently, some proportion of masses assert that physical fitness is imperative for an individual or team to get sport achievements. By contrast, others have conflicting views. Here, I would like to discuss both the view points with my own perception. There are manifold points to support my point of view. First and foremost, a man or group of people who are the owner of physical fitness can accomplish name and fame for their country. Taking a real life example into consideration, virat kohli the captain of Indian cricket team is a very fit person and always give his best in matches and he make his team number one cricket team in the world. Therefore, physical fitness is worthwhile for an individual or whole team to glorify their country name all over the world. What is more, there are plethora of sports players such as Sania Sirza, PV sidhu, Vijendar Kumar, and many more who get medals in Commonwealth games due to physical fitness. Thus, physical fitness is essential to get achievements in sports field. Numerous points can be mentioned in the latter view. Initially, positive attitude, focus on particular thing with sharp mind help masses to touch the zenith of success. To be specific, Sachin Tendulkar who is also known as master mind always played in positive mental attitude and use innovative ideas and strategies and made numerous world records. As a result, presence of mind in sports field is the need of an hour. To recapitulate, Undeniably, both the points have their own significant. However, I still believe that physical fitness is more significant in sports field to outshine the name of a country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
play phenomenal role to uplift the standard of health and wealth.
Presently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proportion of masses assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
is imperative for an individual or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
achievements. By contrast, others have conflicting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
. Here, I would like to discuss both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.

There are manifold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
to support my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
.
First
and foremost, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are the owner of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
can accomplish name and fame for their country. Taking a real life example into consideration,
Possible spelling mistake found.
virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
kohli
the captain of Indian cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fit person and always give his best in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
matches and
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "makes", "made".
make
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
number one cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in the world.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
is worthwhile for an individual or whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to glorify their country name all over the world.
What is more
, there are plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sania
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sirza
, PV
Possible spelling mistake found.
sidhu
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vijendar
Kumar, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medals in Commonwealth games due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
achievements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field.

Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
can
be mentioned
in the latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
.
Initially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude, focus on particular thing with sharp mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
masses to touch the zenith of success. To be specific,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
who is
also
known as master mind always played in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mental attitude and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and strategies and made numerous world records.
As a result
, presence of mind in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field is the need of an hour.

To recapitulate,
Undeniably
, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significant.
However
, I
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
is more significant in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field to outshine the name of a country.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay some people believe that physical fitness of strong individuas and teams is the reason for most sport achievements. Other however, think that mental attitude is more important. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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