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some people say that art subjects such as music drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus Do you agree or disagree with this statement Give your opinion and examples of your own expe v.8

some people say that art subjects such as music drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus Give your opinion and examples of your own expe v. 8
It is well said that ' today' s students are the leaders of tomorrow. Presently, it is reckned by some masses that school must include art subjects such as drama, music, and many others in students academic study. Here, I would like to accord with the given statement. Manifold points are there to support my point of view. First and foremost, students can not only reduce study stress but also amuse themselves by learning arts subjects. To illustrate, in school children face pressure of heavy subjects such as science, mathematics, and many other which distract their mind and they diminish interest towards study. Moreover, unlike other subjects, art subjects are easy to understand even a week student can learn the skill of drama, music, and creative writing with great efforts. Therefore, the idea of art subjects in study fully holds the water. Further emphasising on my point of view. Through art subjects students can bright their future in many fields such as dancing, singing, acting, painting and many more. For example, students who are the owner of exceptional talent can polish their skills if school confer regular classes of art subjects. As a result, students can not only outshine the name of a country but also earn two square meal for family. To recapitulate, Undeniably, heavy syllabus is imperative in this competitive world. However, still I believe that students can choose the best field for future if they gain knowledge of every subject.
It is well said that '
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are the leaders of tomorrow.
Presently
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
reckned
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses that school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as drama, music, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Here, I would like to accord with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

Manifold points are there to support my point of view.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
amuse themselves by learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. To illustrate, in school children face pressure of heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as science, mathematics, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other which distract their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mind and
they diminish interest towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Moreover
, unlike other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are easy to understand even a week
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of drama, music, and creative writing with great efforts.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
fully
holds the water.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasising' is British English.
emphasising
on my point of view. Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can bright their future in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields such as dancing, singing, acting, painting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are the owner of exceptional talent can polish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
if school confer regular classes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
outshine the name of a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
earn two square meal for family.

To recapitulate,
Undeniably
, heavy syllabus is imperative in this competitive world.
However
,
still
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can choose the best field for future if they gain knowledge of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay some people say that art subjects such as music drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus Give your opinion and examples of your own expe v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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