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Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art and Culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art and Culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. 1
Government providing funds to the art and culture has always been debatable. While some people argue that the money can be used to reduce unemployment, others believe that it creates the more revenue to both the state and people. This essay will discuss the both sides of argument in detail and provide evidence to why funding the art and culture is necessary. On one hand, some people believe that the funds from the ministry can be used for reducing the lack of employment. This is because nowadays many people are facing difficulties in finding a job even though they have the sufficient skills required to acquire a job. For example, we can see every year there are lots of students who have been graduating from colleges and finding difficulties to get a job. On the other hand others believe that funding the craft and culture in turn generates the revenue by encouraging the tourists from all over the world. This is because we can see that people from different parts would like to know the customs and traditions by travelling to various parts. For example, we can see many people travelling to India to know the different profession forms like dance and painting. As a result the revenue for the government increases, which can be used for various other things. After considering all the pros and cons, it was concluded that the advantages of providing the support of craft and civilization outweigh the disadvantages. In my view, government needs to support the arts and traditions that have been followed since long time to attract the visitors and to generate the wealth for the country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
providing funds to the art and culture has always been debatable. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment, others believe that it creates the more revenue to both the state and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will discuss the both sides of argument in detail and provide evidence to why funding the art and culture is necessary.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the funds from the ministry can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for reducing the lack of employment. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing difficulties in finding a job
even though
they have the sufficient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required to acquire a job.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
every year there are lots of students who have been graduating from colleges and finding difficulties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand others believe that funding the craft and culture in turn generates the revenue by encouraging the tourists from all over the world. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts would like to know the customs and traditions by travelling to various parts.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling to India to know the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
profession forms like dance and painting.
As a result
the revenue for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
increases, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.

After considering all the pros and cons, it
was concluded
that the advantages of providing the support of craft and civilization outweigh the disadvantages. In my view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to support the arts and traditions that have
been followed
since long time to attract the visitors and to generate the wealth for the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
country
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art and Culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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