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Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. v. 3
The government sponsoring art and culture is debatable. While some people think that it is useful for everyone to know the customs and religions of the particular region, others think that it is better not to invest money. This essay will discuss both the positive and negative aspects of funding the art and traditions and why the support for values is superior. Nowadays, everyone is forgetting the values and traditions that are followed for centuries. These customs add huge value to the particular place by describing the prominence of the particular arts. Although, the world is migrating with a tremendous speed, we should not forget the customs that are followed for a long time. We have been seeing that there is an increase in people who are visiting cities to know about traditions that are followed. Supporting the arts and culture in turn, creates the revenue by attracting the foreigners from various parts of world. There are also minor disadvantages; some people argue that there are many areas that government need to focus on improving. For example, we can see that in some places people are facing the problems like not having enough drinking water and also not having good transport system. People think that government should invest on these basic things rather than supporting the other areas. But to provide support, there needs to be a huge amount of revenue that needs to be generated in the first place. After considering all the pros and cons, it was concluded that the advantages of providing the support of art and culture far outweigh the disadvantages. In my view, government needs to support the arts and traditions that have been followed since long time to attract the visitors and to generate the revenue for the country.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and culture is debatable. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is useful for everyone to know the customs and religions of the particular region, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better not to invest money. This essay will discuss both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of funding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
for values is superior.

Nowadays, everyone is forgetting the values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
followed
for centuries. These customs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
huge value to the particular place by describing the prominence of the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Although, the world is migrating with a tremendous speed, we should not forget the customs that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
followed
for a long time. We have been seeing that there is an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are visiting cities to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
followed
. Supporting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and culture in turn, creates the revenue by attracting the foreigners from various parts of world.

There are
also
minor disadvantages;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to focus on improving.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing the problems like not having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
drinking water and
also
not having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
transport system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest on these basic things
rather
than supporting the other areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to be a huge amount of revenue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be generated
in the
first
place.

After considering all the pros and cons, it
was concluded
that the advantages of providing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and culture far outweigh the disadvantages. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
that have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
followed
since long time to attract the visitors and to generate the revenue for the country.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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