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Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
It is generally acknowledged that large multinational organizations are forcing small companies to vanish and taking over their position in the market. While having a rising number of multinational companies has several potential benefits, personally, I believe, they are both outnumbered and outweighed by the demerits. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon followed by my personal point of view. On the one hand, having more and more multinational corporations instead of small businesses has a number of merits; chief among them, the fact that they create win-win for interdependent countries due to the fact that the advantages that one side holds. Every country has unique resources of materials for production, therefore, multinational companies allow other countries' organizations to use their resources. This leads to having high-quality products at low prices resulting in satisfying consumers. This has been evidenced by numerous academic studies the latest of which is one published by the University of Sydney in 2018 concluding that multinational companies in Sydney use the power of reaching the resources all around the world which leads to efficient production. Therefore, they can decrease expenses by 50% by raising quality by 70%. However, small companies do not have that privilege. On the other hand, replacing the small businesses with multinational organizations has innumerable undeniable disadvantages, the most detrimental of which is losing the cultural identity due to the fact that small ventures carry nations' cultural values the future. Having an increasing number of multinational companies creates oligarchy in the market resulting in losing the niche market which is held by small businesses. This leads to sharing the same culture with other countries as everybody uses the same type of products. As a consequence, individuals tend to forget their own cultural identity by not using specific products. According to the latest statistics released by the National Heritage of Russia in 2019, the younger generation has never heard of the Matryoshka dolls, as the small businesses were shut down due to the competition with large multinational companies before they were born. Nowadays, only 5% of small companies are producing the doll and they are struggling to sell the young as they do not know the culture. In conclusion, whereas having more multinational companies in the market has several advantages such as producing high quality-low price items, they are undoubtedly eclipsed by the demerits which are losing the niche market products and having the generation who does not know their roots.
It is
generally
acknowledged that large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
organizations are forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to vanish and taking over their position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
has several potential benefits,
personally
, I believe, they are both outnumbered and outweighed by the demerits. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon followed by my personal point of view.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
corporations
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
has a number of merits; chief among them, the fact that they create win-win for interdependent countries due to the fact that the advantages that one side holds. Every country has unique resources of materials for production,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
other countries' organizations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their resources. This leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at low prices resulting in satisfying consumers. This has
been evidenced
by numerous academic studies the latest of which is one published by the University of Sydney in 2018 concluding that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in Sydney
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the power of reaching the resources all around the world which leads to efficient production.
Therefore
, they can decrease expenses by 50% by raising quality by 70%.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do not have that privilege.

On the other hand
, replacing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
organizations has innumerable undeniable disadvantages, the most detrimental of which is losing the cultural identity due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
ventures carry nations' cultural values the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
creates oligarchy in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
resulting in losing the niche
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
which
is held
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. This leads to sharing the same culture with other countries as everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the same type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. As a consequence, individuals tend to forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cultural identity by not using specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. According to the latest statistics released by the National Heritage of Russia in 2019, the younger generation has never heard of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Matryoshka
dolls, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
were shut
down due to the competition with large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
were born
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are producing the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
doll and
they are struggling to sell the young as they do not know the culture.

In conclusion
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
has several advantages such as producing high quality-low price items, they are
undoubtedly
eclipsed by the demerits which are losing the niche
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
the generation who does not know their roots.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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