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Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.9

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 9
In this modern day, foreigners are interested in travelling in order to learn the different cultures and tourism destinations from other countries. I personally think, they should be paid extra more than the local residents. However, the fund tickets can be used to the societal development and improvable facilities. Money that gains from tourism should be contributed to the economy to develop important sites such as temples and monuments. For instance, in cambodia each foreign visitors have to pay ten dollars to look around the temples. This fund are used to construct the roads, so that it would be easier for tourists come to visit. Likewise, the government could create new places which attract more tourists to visit. Consequently, the popularity of tourism might create employment for the local residents. Hence, they might run the business for many facilities in order to develop their own society. In addition, tourists funds might be contribute to improve the facilities. This means the local residents might afford to the tourist services, for instance, the resort tickets should be paid for toilet or water supplies. Some areas are damaged because of old-ages and break down, although, it should be either rebuild or replaced new ones. In particular, those facilities can be the evident which is important for the tourist to see and learn about the culture heritage of the country. Therefore, tourists would like to spend massive amount of money to explore in many other countries. To sum up, the extraordinary of money that gain from overseas tourists are used for the societal development such as infrastructure. In addition, some facilities are improved through the tickets funds. In spite of this, the charge from tourists should be fairly contributed to develop the tourist destination in the countries.
In this modern day, foreigners
are interested
in travelling in order to learn the
different
cultures and tourism destinations from other countries. I
personally
think
, they should
be paid
extra more than the local residents.
However
, the
fund
tickets can be
used
to the societal development and improvable facilities.

Money that gains from tourism should
be contributed
to the economy to develop
important
sites such as temples and monuments.
For instance
, in
cambodia
each foreign visitors
have to
pay ten dollars to look around the temples. This
fund
are
used
to construct the roads,
so
that it would be easier for
tourists
come
to visit.
Likewise
, the
government
could create new places which attract more
tourists
to visit.
Consequently
, the popularity of tourism
might
create employment for the local residents.
Hence
, they
might
run the business for
many
facilities in order to develop their
own
society.

In addition
,
tourists
funds
might
be
contribute
to
improve
the facilities. This means the local residents
might
afford to the
tourist
services,
for instance
, the resort tickets should
be paid
for toilet or water supplies.
Some
areas
are damaged
because
of
old
-ages and break down, although, it should be either rebuild or replaced new ones.
In particular
, those facilities can be the evident which is
important
for the
tourist
to
see
and learn about the culture heritage of the country.
Therefore
,
tourists
would like to spend massive amount of money to explore in
many
other countries.

To sum up, the extraordinary of money that gain from overseas
tourists
are
used
for the societal development such as infrastructure.
In addition
,
some
facilities are
improved
through the tickets funds.
In spite of
this, the charge from
tourists
should be
fairly
contributed to develop the
tourist
destination in the countries.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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