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Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.11

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 11
These days Tourism is a flourishing industry. People who love to travel, go over vast distances to see and appreciate foreign cultures and historical monuments. The travel industry is a major source of income in many countries. Some believe that tourists visiting these areas must be charged more than the local inhabitants. I personally disagree with the view because I think the plan will have more disadvantages. I will support my opinion with examples The first reason, I believe that the price of tickets for heritage places must be the same for both local and foreign tourists. Increase in fares keeps away the number of visitors. Clearly, the more they are asked to pay, the less they will travel. As a prime example, if the government of India charged those foreigners with huge price for visiting the monuments of the country their population would drop dramatically; however, by attracting more visitors, the government would raise its revenue in other sectors, including hotels or public transportation. Furthermore, Happy tourists encourage their immediate friends and family members to visit a country and some tourist attractions. If those tourists get the impression that they are being changed more money than the local people, they would psychologically feel unhappy and they would share their dissatisfaction with others which would mean less foreign tourists. Many Historical Places are maintained by the ticket money it collects, and if the number of visiting travellers gets decreased, it would be tough for the authority to maintain those important places. On the other hand by doing so, authorities can encourage the international tourists to pay more visits, which will lead to the development of the tourism industry. To conclude, from a broader perspective, having the same ticket fee, both for the residence and foreign tourists is more beneficial.
These days Tourism is a flourishing industry.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to travel, go over vast distances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
cultures and historical monuments.

The travel industry is a major source of income in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting these areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be charged
more than the local inhabitants. I
personally
disagree with the view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the plan will have more disadvantages. I will support my opinion with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
examples


The
first
reason, I believe that the price of tickets for heritage places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be the same for both local and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. Increase in fares
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
away the number of visitors.
Clearly
, the more they
are asked
to pay, the less they will travel. As a prime example, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India charged those foreigners with huge price for visiting the monuments of the country their population would drop
dramatically
;
however
, by attracting more visitors, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would raise its revenue in other sectors, including hotels or public transportation.
Furthermore
, Happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
encourage their immediate friends and family members to visit a country and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attractions. If those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the impression that they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
more money than the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they would
psychologically
feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unhappy and
they would share their dissatisfaction with others which would mean less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
tourists.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Historical Places
are maintained
by the ticket money it collects, and if the number of visiting
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
decreased, it would be tough for the authority to maintain those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
places.
On the other hand
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, authorities can encourage the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to pay more visits, which will lead to the development of the tourism industry.

To conclude
, from a broader perspective, having the same ticket fee, both for the residence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
is more beneficial.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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