Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that the age of books has passed, information can be accessed in videos, computers, televisions, films and so forth. Other people think books and written words will still be essential for information dissemination and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that the age of books has passed, information can be accessed in videos, computers, televisions, films and so forth. Other people think books and written words will still be essential for information dissemination and education. v. 2
In recent decades, in this day and age, Many ppl are sceptical about the importance of printed documents since knowledge is increasingly acquired by technological devices. Although technological devices seem to be an attractive choice, in my opinion, reading books to acquire education is supposed to bring further advantages. It can be said that the benefits in education brought about by technology cannot be denied. Technology brings great convenience to users in approaching education. For example, with little doubt such as mobile phones, iPad… people can easily stay informed of current affairs with few restrictions of time and space. Users can download reference materials from online sources which are reasonably priced. This approach is very beneficial for students who are on a budget and make them well-prepared for the course work. The use of video has greatly boosted people's understanding. Thanks to the assistance of lively sounds, vivid images… viewers feel more involved in the content. That’s the reason why teachers often apply technological devices to complement existing teaching methods and make the lecture more engaging. On the other hand, books are useful in many ways. One of the main positive aspects of the books is the enhanced concentration on the reading material. When reading a book, readers can be more focused on the content without being interrupted by technology-related factors such as message or Facebook notifications. For example, instead of focusing 100 percent on reading the news, many people constantly check Facebook or watch short clips on YouTube, which negatively affects their reading comprehension. Furthermore, spending too much time reading, the ability of the Internet can make people more vulnerable to health problems such as impaired eyesight, tiredness… These screen-related problems however can be alleviated if the information is obtained from a paper book. Reading books regularly are the best way to encourage analytical thinking skills. Video viewers absorb data in a passive way and readers acquire ability in the reverse way: written words. Readers have to use their critical thinking and creativity to understand the content. Therefore, reading books is more likely to nurture creative and independent thinking than technological versions. In conclusion, with the convincing arguments mentioned above, both technology and traditional books are required for getting material. Although modern technology is gaining increasing popularity, books are going to keep expanding our knowledge for years to come.
In recent decades, in this day and age,
Possible agreement error. The noun ppl seems to be countable; consider using: "Many ".
Many ppl
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'sceptical' is British English.
sceptical
about the importance of printed documents since knowledge is
increasingly
acquired by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
devices. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
devices seem to be an attractive choice, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to acquire education
is supposed
to bring
further
advantages.

It can
be said
that the benefits in education brought about by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
cannot
be denied
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
brings great convenience to users in approaching education.
For example
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
doubt such as mobile phones, iPad…
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
stay informed of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs with few restrictions of time and space. Users can download reference materials from online sources which are
reasonably
priced. This approach is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for students who are on a budget and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them well-prepared for the course work. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of video has
greatly
boosted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's understanding. Thanks to the assistance of lively sounds, vivid images… viewers feel more involved in the content. That’s the reason why teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
apply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
devices to complement existing teaching methods and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the lecture more engaging.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. One of the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is the enhanced concentration on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
material. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, readers can be more focused on the content without
being interrupted
by technology-related factors such as message or Facebook notifications.
For example
,
instead
of focusing 100 percent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the news,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
Facebook or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
short clips on YouTube, which
negatively
affects their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
comprehension.
Furthermore
, spending too much time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, the ability of the Internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more vulnerable to health problems such as impaired eyesight, tiredness… These screen-related problems
however
can
be alleviated
if the information
is obtained
from a paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
regularly
are the best way to encourage analytical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Video viewers absorb data
Consider replacing "in a passive way" with the adverb for "passive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a passive way
and readers acquire ability in the reverse way: written words. Readers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their critical thinking and creativity to understand the content.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is more likely to nurture creative and independent thinking than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
versions.

In conclusion
, with the convincing arguments mentioned above, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are required
for getting material. Although modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is gaining increasing popularity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
expanding our knowledge for years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the age of books has passed, information can be accessed in videos, computers, televisions, films and so forth. Other people think books and written words will still be essential for information dissemination and education. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts