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Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. v.2

Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. v. 2
It is true that the heavy use of computers and cell phones would have a negative impact on young people. However, I am not totally convinced that it would necessarily deter their writing and reading skills. On one hand, relying too much on computers and mobile phones would effect on teenagers not to become proficient in some basic skills. Since computers and mobile phones come with a word processor accompanied with spellchecker, teenager's handwriting will probably suffer. For instance, young people who excessively depend on computers or mobile phones may not be able to write a letter by hand. In addition, reading through computers and mobile phones do not encourage teenagers to read long stories or high volume research books. They do not develop a reading habit that enables them to broaden their knowledge. Furthermore reading long passages through these devices could be very harmful to their eyes. On the other hand, I believe that for some reasons, computers and cell phones would benefit young people's reading and writing abilities. Firstly, reading through computers and cell phones engage young people in learning and grasping knowledge. The ease of access to the information makes reading more interesting. For example, many of us stop reading a certain book because its introduction put him or her off continuing. While by surfing the Internet we can find the information that we interested on without a need to read the whole book. Secondly, using computers and mobile phones improve some writing skills, which are useful in future jobs such as word processors for making reports, power point program, making notes in telephone or even learn the meaning or the spelling of a word that we have never come across. In conclusion, it seems to me that depending too much on computers and cell phones would bring both benefits and drawbacks.
It is true that the heavy
use
of computers and
cell
phones
would have a
negative
impact on
young
people
.
However
, I am not
totally
convinced that it would
necessarily
deter their writing and
reading
skills
.

On one hand, relying too much on computers and mobile
phones
would
effect
on
teenagers
not to become proficient in
some
basic
skills
. Since computers and mobile
phones
come
with a word processor
accompanied with
spellchecker,
teenager
's handwriting will
probably
suffer.
For instance
,
young
people
who
excessively
depend on computers or mobile
phones
may not be able to write a letter by hand.
In addition
,
reading
through computers and mobile
phones
do not encourage
teenagers
to read long stories or high volume research books. They do not develop a
reading
habit that enables them to broaden their knowledge.
Furthermore
reading
long passages through these devices could be
very
harmful to their eyes.

On the other hand
, I believe that for
some
reasons, computers and
cell
phones
would benefit
young
people
's
reading
and writing abilities.
Firstly
,
reading
through computers and
cell
phones
engage
young
people
in learning and grasping knowledge. The
ease
of access to the information
makes
reading
more interesting.
For example
,
many
of us
stop
reading
a certain book
because
its introduction put him or her off continuing.
While
by surfing the Internet we can find the information that we interested on without a need to read the whole book.
Secondly
, using computers and mobile
phones
improve
some
writing
skills
, which are useful in future jobs such as word processors for making reports,
power point
program, making notes in telephone or even learn the meaning or the spelling of a word that we have never
come
across.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that depending too much on computers and
cell
phones
would bring both benefits and drawbacks.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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