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Many people think that increasing the number of sports facilities is the best way to improve the public health. Others, however, say that this is not an effective way of improving the public health and other measures should be taken. v.1

Many people think that increasing the number of sports facilities is the best way to improve the public health. Others, however, say that this is not an effective way of improving the public health and other measures should be taken. v. 1
In today's modern world, the cases of people who are facing health related problems are increasing dramatically. Hence, there are numerous people who assert that it is crucial for the government to increase the number of sports facilities in order to tackle this problem. However, some people are of the opinion that other effective ways are needed as sports facilities would have a minimum impact on their health. In this essay, we will examine both sides of the arguments before reaching a reasonable conclusion. Undoubtedly, there is a direct link between the increase in the number of sports facilities and the public health. To begin, people are being offered a valuable opportunity to do more exercises. Nowadays, the sports facilities are too expensive and are not affordable by an individual with low income. Thus, the provided sports facilities will definitely give them a chance to keep fit without the need of spending a huge chunk of money to buy sports equipment. According to a recent research, the weight of a person will decline for about 5kg in 3 week time if they do exercise regularly, for example, 30 minutes a day. As a result, health-related problems like obesity and high blood pressure can be avoided. Nevertheless, in the twenty-first century, people focus solely on their works which cause them to have very limited time to do exercise. Thus, the increasing number of sports facilities may have little or no effect on their health as they do not access to them frequently. Other measures which could prove useful in curbing this health problem are, therefore, required. One of the effective measures is increasing the number of health care units which allows the city inhabitants to seek for guidance and to have a body checkup regularly. A study has shown that people these days are more rely on figures on their medical checkup reports to help them to maintain good health. For example, doctors will advise their patients to reduce the intake of glucose-rich food if they are diabetic patients. The following preventive measures are that government should organise more campaigns which promote the importance of having a healthy body. Once the public realises the negative impacts of health problems have in their lives, they may probably pick up the good habits to maintain good health. In conclusion, sports facilities are, admittedly, opening up an avenue for the public to do more exercises, however, I believe there are more useful preventive measures that can be taken to improve our health. Our nation will continue to prosper and flourish if every citizen owns a healthy body which allows them to contribute endlessly to the society.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world, the cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are increasing
dramatically
.
Hence
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who assert that it is crucial for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities in order to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that other effective ways
are needed
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities would have a minimum impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In this essay, we will examine both sides of the arguments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a reasonable conclusion.

Undoubtedly
, there is a direct link between the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities and the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being offered
a valuable opportunity to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are too expensive and are not affordable by an individual with low income.
Thus
, the provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities will definitely give them a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit without the need of spending a huge chunk of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
equipment. According to a recent research, the weight of a person will decline for about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "5 kg"
5kg
in 3 week time if they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
regularly
,
for example
, 30 minutes a day.
As a result
, health-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like obesity and high blood pressure can
be avoided
.

Nevertheless
, in the twenty-
first
century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
focus
solely
on their works which cause them to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited time to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Thus
, the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as they do not access to them
frequently
. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
which could prove useful in curbing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
are,
therefore
, required. One of the effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
is increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care units which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the city inhabitants to seek for guidance and to have a body checkup
regularly
. A study has shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days are more rely on figures on their medical checkup reports to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, doctors will advise their patients to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the intake of glucose-rich food if they are diabetic patients. The following preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
more campaigns which promote the importance of having a healthy body. Once the public
Possible spelling mistake. 'realises' is British English.
realises
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, they may
probably
pick up the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are,
admittedly
, opening up an avenue for the public to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
,
however
, I believe there are more useful preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
that can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Our nation will continue to prosper and flourish if every citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a healthy body which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to contribute
endlessly
to the society.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that increasing the number of sports facilities is the best way to improve the public health. Others, however, say that this is not an effective way of improving the public health and other measures should be taken. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
442 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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