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Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers’ writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers’ writing and reading skills. Give your opinion. v. 3
Indeed, mobiles and computers are popular among teenagers. Almost every adolescent owns a mobile and a computer. Regarding the disadvantage of owning electronic devices, some people believe cell phonea and computers are adverse to writing and reading skills of youngsters. Personally, I am totally agree with this view. Informal writing and scattered reading are the two culpts that undermining wrinting and reading skills when using mobiles and computers. To begin with, communication via mobiles and computers is predominantly informal writhing; whereas, one criterion of writing skills is formal. Normally, teenagers communicate online via short messages and twitter, which are informal. As youngsters are adapting to informal writing style, formal writing skills will soon be forgotten. Even worse, youngsters write e-mail in an informal way, which is detrimental for work because people are expecting a formal e-mail. In certain case, people merely ignore an informal written e-mail after a glance of the style. This is one disadvantage deriving from using mobiles and computers. Moreover, scattered reading, the other habit developed from surfing online, is undermining reading skills of teenagers. Contemprary adolescents skip and skan materials on screen as a result of volunineous information surges in Internet every minute. Readers merely go through titles but not details when tackle with a screen of completely new information. This reading method acquires little detailed information, which is not an efficient reading skill. To make things worse, teenagers cannnot focus when they are readng a actual book. To summarize, mobiles and computers flourish informal writing style and scattered reading, which are in contrary with formal writing skill and effective reading skill. Therefore, computers and mobiles are underming the reading and writing skills of adolescents. Teenagers ought to spend less time on mobiles and computers to avoid these problems.
Indeed
, mobiles and computers are popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. Almost every adolescent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a mobile and a computer. Regarding the disadvantage of owning electronic devices,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe cell
Possible spelling mistake found.
phonea
and computers are
Did you mean "averse" (=unwilling) instead of 'adverse' (=hostile)?
adverse
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of youngsters.
Personally
, I am
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this view.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Informal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
and scattered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
are the two
Possible spelling mistake found.
culpts
that undermining
Possible spelling mistake found.
wrinting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
when using mobiles and computers.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, communication via mobiles and computers is
predominantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
informal
writhing; whereas, one criterion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
.
Normally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
communicate online via short messages and twitter, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
informal
. As youngsters are adapting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
informal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
style,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be forgotten
. Even worse, youngsters write e-mail in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
informal
way, which is detrimental for work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are expecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
e-mail. In certain case,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
merely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
informal
written e-mail after a glance of the style. This is one disadvantage deriving from using mobiles and computers.

Moreover
, scattered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, the other habit developed from surfing online, is undermining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Contemprary
adolescents skip and
Possible spelling mistake found.
skan
materials on screen
as a result
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
volunineous
information surges in Internet every minute. Readers
merely
go through titles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
when tackle with a screen of completely new information. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
method acquires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
detailed information, which is not an efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things worse,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
Possible spelling mistake found.
cannnot
focus when they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
readng
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
actual book.

To summarize
, mobiles and computers flourish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
informal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
style and scattered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, which are in contrary with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
Therefore
, computers and mobiles are
Possible spelling mistake found.
underming
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of adolescents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
ought to spend less time on mobiles and computers to avoid these problems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers’ writing and reading skills. Give your opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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