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Many people think that increasing the number of sports facilities is the best way to improve the public health. Others, however, say that this is not an effective way of improving the public health and other measures should be taken. v.4

Many people think that increasing the number of sports facilities is the best way to improve the public health. Others, however, say that this is not an effective way of improving the public health and other measures should be taken. v. 4
Health and fitness of people are declining and it has become a focus issue recently. Some individuals argue that improving exercise facilities can be the best effort to increase community health. However, some others believe that sports facility only accounts the little effect on health and other actions should be made to develop health. This essay will discuss both these views through the following paragraphs. To begin with, lack of workout is believed as one of the risk factors of several illnesses since it is required to secrete energy and maintain cardiovascular health. Low participation of people in doing exercise can be influenced by a limited number of sports centre available. Thus, improving sports facilities can be a good alternative providing favourable and measurable workout equipment for individuals. Canada, for example, has successfully reduced the prevalence of hypertension in that country since a number of workout centres are ubiquitous and people have become more intense visiting sports club to do a regular workout. Despite workout, food intake also significantly determines public health. Several health issues are associated with poor diet consumption. Diabetic, for instance, becomes susceptible to people consuming fast-food mostly in their daily meal as it may improve the number of excessive glucose and trans-fat into the body. Hence, one of the solutions for this dietary problem is by reducing fast-food consumption and adopting a norm of organic food into daily account. Among other effective measures, the government should encourage people to use the bicycle and walk to reach their workplace. The office authorities should also encourage people to move whenever possible and should persuade them to work out during breaks. All in all, attracting people’s enthusiasm to exercise more often by increasing sports centre and changing diet habit from fast-food to organic one are necessary for elevating community health degree.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
and fitness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are declining and it has become a focus issue recently.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals argue that improving exercise facilities can be the best effort to increase community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accounts the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and other actions should
be made
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This essay will discuss both these views through the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
is believed
as one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factors of several illnesses since it
is required
to secrete energy and maintain cardiovascular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Low participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in doing exercise can
be influenced
by a limited number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
available.
Thus
, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
alternative providing
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
and measurable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
equipment for individuals. Canada,
for example
, has
successfully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the prevalence of hypertension in that country since a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are ubiquitous and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more intense visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
club to do a regular workout.

Despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
, food intake
also
significantly
determines public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues
are associated
with poor diet consumption. Diabetic,
for instance
, becomes susceptible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
mostly
in their daily meal as it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the number of excessive glucose and trans-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
into the body.
Hence
, one of the solutions for this dietary problem is by reducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food consumption and adopting a norm of organic food into daily account.

Among other effective measures, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the bicycle and walk to reach their workplace. The office authorities should
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
whenever possible and should persuade them to work out during breaks.

All in all, attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
enthusiasm to exercise more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
by increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and changing diet habit from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food to organic one are necessary for elevating community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
degree.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that increasing the number of sports facilities is the best way to improve the public health. Others, however, say that this is not an effective way of improving the public health and other measures should be taken. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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