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Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers’ writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers’ writing and reading skills. Give your opinion. v. 1
Nowadays, unfortunately, wild animals are not as common as in the past. Indeed, they are on the brink of extinction or generally in danger. There are several reasons which are causing this process. One of these is hunting, in some countries is illegal (and prohibited). Nevertheless, many people break the law, causing the death of wild animals. Another reason is pollution, which kills animals in general, but it generates Climate Change which influences all the environment around the wildlife, too. Moreover, it causes also fires, one recent example is the big fire which hit Australian nature, now. Unfortunately, it’s killing hundreds of animals and destroying wonderful forests of Australia. Consequently, after having figured out the causes, it’s needed to find solutions and to act in order to stop or even slow down the process. One solution can be reducing the amount of pollution we generate by using less plastic and cars. It is possible by moving on foot or by public transportation. Another solution to pollute less is to become vegan or vegetarian, or if it’s too difficult or extreme, it’s helpful for the planet to eat less meat, too. One last solution is to go against people who practice hunting by controlling more and generally protecting wild animals. In conclusion, the extinction of wild animals is produced by hunting, pollution which generates global warming. For this reason, some solutions can be to consume less meat, preserving the animals and enforcing the laws. I think that everyone should do something to help the planet even a small act, because Earth is our home and the only one we have.
Nowadays, unfortunately, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not as common as in the past.
Indeed
, they are on the brink of extinction or
generally
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

There are several reasons which are causing this process.

One of these is hunting, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries is illegal (and prohibited).
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
break the law, causing the death of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Another reason is pollution, which kills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in general
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it generates Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
which influences all the environment around the wildlife, too.
Moreover
, it causes
also
fires, one recent example is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fire which hit Australian nature,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Unfortunately, it’s killing hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and destroying wonderful forests of Australia.

Consequently
, after having figured out the causes, it’s needed to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
and to act in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or even slow down the process. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
can be reducing the amount of pollution we generate by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
plastic and cars. It is possible by moving on foot or by public transportation. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to pollute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
is to become vegan or vegetarian, or if it’s too difficult or extreme, it’s helpful for the planet to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
meat, too. One last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is to go against
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who practice hunting by controlling more and
generally
protecting wild animals.

In conclusion
, the extinction of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is produced
by hunting, pollution which generates global warming.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
can be to consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
meat, preserving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and enforcing the laws. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that everyone should do something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the planet even a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
act,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Earth is our home and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one we have.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers’ writing and reading skills. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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