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Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. v. 1
In recent years, climate change climbs the political agenda of different western countries. Some people believe that developed countries should act to combat global warming, others consider that since climate change affects the whole planet; thus there is the need to have a global action. In one hand, developed countries used fossil fuels and other components since the first industrial revolution, and thanks to them reached the economic level and social security that enjoys now. For example, without carbons, there would not be the train rail that enhanced the transportation of goods and people, which favor international trade. Nevertheless, there were not scientific proofs regarding the consequences of these actions. Developed countries are currently trying to reduce CO2 emissions and to tackle global warming. However, the effort, for now, seems vain since developing countries are polling the air a lot. Thus, joint action should be taken. On the other hand, some people believed that developing countries should not be accountable for climate change which was initiated by western countries. Indeed, they need to use fossil fuel and other chemical agents which are dangerous for the planet, to develop them self and reach the same level of prosperity of the western civilizations. The BRICS sustains this argument, in fact, for instance, the spokesperson of China stated that western nations should have a significant impact in taking care of global warming and reversed it. In my opinion, we have a planet, and it is our responsibility to take care of it. While developed countries used fossil fuels for reaching this level of development, developing countries cannot do the same, because nowadays the consequences for the planet are known. Nevertheless, it is essential to support them in finding different ways to develop. Thus they will agree in globally tackling this issue.
In recent years, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
climbs the political agenda of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should act to combat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming, others consider that since climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
affects the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
;
thus
there is the need to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
action.

In one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
fossil fuels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
components since the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
first industrial revolution
, and thanks to them reached the economic level and social security that enjoys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
For example
, without carbons, there would not be the train rail that enhanced the transportation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which favor international trade.
Nevertheless
, there were not scientific proofs regarding the consequences of these actions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
currently
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
CO2 emissions and to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.
However
, the effort, for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, seems vain since developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are polling the air a lot.
Thus
, joint action should
be taken
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should not be accountable for climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which
was initiated
by western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Indeed
, they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fossil fuel and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
chemical agents which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
, to develop them self and reach the same level of prosperity of the western civilizations. The BRICS sustains this argument, in fact,
for instance
, the spokesperson of China stated that western nations should have a significant impact in taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming and reversed it.

In my opinion, we have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
, and it is our responsibility to take care of it. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
fossil fuels for reaching this level of development, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
cannot do the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays the consequences for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
are known
.
Nevertheless
, it is essential to support them in finding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to develop.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
in globally tackling this issue.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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