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Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose. 1
Nowadays adventurous sport has become commonplace in many countries. Some people believe that the government should ban dangerous sports, while others feel that individual’s freedom to choose should not be compromised. In my opinion, people should be allowed to do such sport as long as they are aware of the dangers involved. To begin with, some sport items such as water skiing can be extremely dangerous. It may cause injuries or even death. Therefore, some people argue that it should be banned because then no one will perform it again. This way the government can ensure the safety of its people. Those who favour the banning of dangerous sport believe that human life has more value than the momentary joys or thrills provided by these sports. They also argue that youngsters are the majority who get involved in adventures. Most of them are not fully aware of the consequences. They do extreme sports out of curiosity or for fun. A ban on extreme sports will certainly prevent them from indulging in such activities. On the other hand, each individual should have the freedom to decide whether they want to participate in dangerous sports or not. It is a invasion of individual privacy or violation of human rights if the government banned such sports. After all, most people who participate in these events are aware of the dangers and attempt these stunts only after getting lots of practice. A ban will certainly disappoint them. For these reasons, I believe that dangerous sport items should not be banned To conclude, although some sport items can pose serious dangers to human life, I believe they should not be banned because doing so will amount to the violation of individual liberties and rights.
Nowadays adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has become commonplace in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, while others feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
freedom to choose should not
be compromised
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as long as they are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
involved.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
items such as water skiing can be
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
. It may cause injuries or even death.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it should
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then no one will perform it again. This way the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can ensure the safety of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Those who
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the banning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that human life has more value than the momentary joys or thrills provided by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. They
also
argue that youngsters are the majority who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in adventures. Most of them are not
fully
aware of the consequences. They do extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
out of curiosity or for fun. A ban on extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from indulging in such activities.

On the other hand
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should have the freedom to decide whether they want to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or not. It is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
invasion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
privacy or violation of human rights if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
banned such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
After all
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who participate in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
and attempt these stunts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after getting lots of practice. A ban will
certainly
disappoint them. For these reasons, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
items should not be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
banned


To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
items can pose serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
to human life, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
they should not
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will amount to the violation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
liberties and rights.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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