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Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison so as to reduce the crime rate To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison so as to reduce the crime rate v. 1
It is believed by some individuals that, pupils do not need to do home assignments which given by their teachers. While other people, including me hold a view, the setting of home task is an essential part of education. On the one hand, there are some reasons why it is argued that teachers should not give homework for learners. The first one is that school hours have already been extended and stressful enough which puts their children have to spend most their time at school. Besides children need time to develop relationships with their family, their friends as well as for physical activities. Another reason is that studies have revealed that children can manage better to study by not doing homework on a regular basis. For instance, the number of pupils without doing homework, graduate from high school in Finland is higher rather than in the US. On the other hand, I would argue that assignments could bring a plenty of benefits to the schooling of the children. Firstly, there is no doubt that the act of doing homework is one of the best ways to revise the lessons because the process of applying theoretical knowledge into practice helps to enhance comprehension. For example, students those who study chemistry, mathematics and physics deal with a lot of theoretical tasks. By doing at home this tasks, learners could remember the formula more easily than expected and also those exercises would develop their independent studying habits and skills as they have to complete task alone at their own pace. These habits and skills would eventually play an essential part in their work as adults afterward. In conclusion, while there are some conflicting opinions about giving homework for school children. I believe that the benefits of practicing homework for outweigh the drawbacks in helping pupils gain knowledge and also develop an independent study habit in the long term.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that, pupils do not need to do home assignments which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their teachers. While other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including me hold a view, the setting of home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
is an essential part of education.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why it
is argued
that teachers should not give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
for learners. The
first
one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours have already
been extended
and stressful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
which puts their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend most their time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need time to develop relationships with their family, their friends
as well
as for physical activities. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
have revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can manage better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
on a regular basis.
For instance
, the number of pupils without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
, graduate from high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Finland is higher
rather
than in the US.

On the other hand
, I would argue that assignments could bring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits to the schooling of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, there is no doubt that the act of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is one of the best ways to revise the lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the process of applying theoretical knowledge into practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to enhance comprehension.
For example
, students those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
chemistry, mathematics and physics deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
at home this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
, learners could remember the formula more
easily
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
and
also
those exercises would develop their independent studying habits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
alone at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace. These habits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
would
eventually
play an essential part in their work as adults afterward.

In conclusion
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflicting opinions about giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I believe that the benefits of practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
for outweigh the drawbacks in helping pupils gain knowledge and
also
develop an independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
habit in the long term.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison so as to reduce the crime rate v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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