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Genetic engineering is a dangerous trend. It should be limited. To what extent do you agree? v.3

Genetic engineering is a dangerous trend. It should be limited. v. 3
TODAY, EVERYONE WANT TO LIVE HIGH QUALITY LIFE. SO, MANY OFFSPRINGS ARE A FORCE TO MIGRATE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY BY THEIR PARENTS WHICH ALLOW THEM TO FULFILL THEIR DREAMS. THIS METHOD DO HAVE MERRITS AND DEMERITS RELATED TO INDIVIDUAL AND GOVERNMENT AS WELL. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS HOE PURSUING FOREIGN DEGREE HELPS INDIVIDUAL TO ACHIEVE THEIR DREAM LIFE AND SECONDALY, HOW THIS MOGRATION PATTERN AFFECCT S THE NATION'S ECONOMY. ON THE ONE HAND, THE MAIN ADVANTAGE IS THAT IT WILL GIVE HIGHER SAARY IN COMAPAR TO INDIVIDUAL'S HOME COUNTRY. AS THEY ALREADY HAVING BASIC KNOWLEDGE FROM THEIR BACK HOME NATIO. THIS WILL GIVES THEM AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET HIRED BY FOREIGN EMPLOYER WHO OFFER THEM COMPETITIVE SALARY PACKAGE THEN THE ONE'S CONTINANT. FOR INSTANCE, THIS YEAR COMMUITY SURVEY SHOWS THAT 70% OF YOUNGERS HAVE A DREAM TO GO AND SETTLE IN ANOTHER NATION LIKE CANADA, AUSTRALIA DUE TO HIGH PAYING JOBS AND QUALITY LIFE. ON THE OTHER HAND, INCREASE IN THIS MIGRATION TO FOREIGN DECREASES THE WORKFORCE IN THE NATIVE PLACE. THUS, THIS LEADS TO UPSURGE IN OLDER EMPLOYEES. AND, AS A RESULT, MORE BURDEN ON GOVERNMENT TO SPEND ON HEALTH CARE SYSTEM DUE TO OLD AGE FITNESS ISSUES. THUS, NATION'S ECONOMY COLAPS TO SOME EXTENT YEAR BY YEAR. FOR EXAMPLE, AS PER THE AAUTHORITIES EMPLOYEES SURVEY, THERE ARE ONLY 20% OF YOUNG WORKERS AND REST 80% ARE ABOVE 45 OF AGE. IN CONCLUSION, FOREIGN EDUCATION INDEED PROVIDE AN EXCELLENT LIVELINESS DUE TO HIGH WAGE BUT ONE SHOULD NOT NEGOTIATE THE CONSEQUENCE OF MOGRATING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY. I SUGGEST, AUTHORITY SHOULD HAVE MORE JOB OPENINGS AND PERCEPTIVE FOR YOUTH TO DECLINE THE TREND OF GOING ABROAD FOR STUDIES.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TODAY
, EVERYONE
The pronoun 'EVERYONE' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
WANT
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
HIGH QUALITY LIFE.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
Possible spelling mistake found.
OFFSPRINGS
ARE A FORCE TO MIGRATE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY BY THEIR PARENTS WHICH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ALLOW
THEM TO FULFILL THEIR DREAMS. THIS METHOD DO HAVE
Possible spelling mistake found.
MERRITS
AND DEMERITS RELATED TO INDIVIDUAL AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
AS WELL
.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS HOE PURSUING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOREIGN
DEGREE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELPS
INDIVIDUAL TO ACHIEVE THEIR DREAM LIFE AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
SECONDALY
, HOW THIS
Possible spelling mistake found.
MOGRATION
PATTERN
Possible spelling mistake found.
AFFECCT
S THE NATION'S ECONOMY.

ON THE ONE HAND, THE MAIN ADVANTAGE IS THAT IT WILL GIVE HIGHER
Possible spelling mistake found.
SAARY
IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
COMAPAR
TO INDIVIDUAL'S HOME COUNTRY. AS
Did you mean "THEY're ALREADY HAVING", "THEY are ALREADY HAVING", or "THEY were ALREADY HAVING"?
THEY ALREADY HAVING
BASIC KNOWLEDGE FROM THEIR BACK HOME
Possible spelling mistake found.
NATIO
. THIS WILL GIVES THEM AN OPPORTUNITY TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
HIRED BY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOREIGN
EMPLOYER WHO OFFER THEM COMPETITIVE SALARY PACKAGE THEN THE ONE'S
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONTINANT
.
FOR INSTANCE
, THIS YEAR
Possible spelling mistake found.
COMMUITY
SURVEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOWS
THAT 70% OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
YOUNGERS HAVE
A DREAM TO GO AND SETTLE IN ANOTHER NATION LIKE CANADA, AUSTRALIA DUE TO HIGH PAYING JOBS AND QUALITY LIFE.

ON THE OTHER HAND
, INCREASE IN THIS MIGRATION TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOREIGN
DECREASES THE WORKFORCE IN THE NATIVE PLACE.
THUS
, THIS LEADS TO UPSURGE IN OLDER EMPLOYEES. AND,
AS A RESULT
, MORE BURDEN ON
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
TO SPEND ON HEALTH CARE SYSTEM DUE TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OLD
AGE FITNESS ISSUES.
THUS
, NATION'S ECONOMY
Possible spelling mistake found.
COLAPS
TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
EXTENT YEAR BY YEAR.
FOR EXAMPLE
, AS PER THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
AAUTHORITIES
EMPLOYEES SURVEY, THERE ARE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
20% OF YOUNG WORKERS AND REST 80% ARE ABOVE 45 OF AGE.

IN CONCLUSION
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOREIGN
EDUCATION
INDEED
PROVIDE AN EXCELLENT LIVELINESS DUE TO HIGH WAGE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
ONE SHOULD NOT NEGOTIATE THE CONSEQUENCE OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
MOGRATING
TO ANOTHER COUNTRY. I SUGGEST, AUTHORITY SHOULD HAVE MORE JOB OPENINGS AND PERCEPTIVE FOR YOUTH TO DECLINE THE TREND OF GOING ABROAD FOR STUDIES.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Genetic engineering is a dangerous trend. It should be limited. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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