Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Being able to speak a foreign language is an advantage these days Some people think that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school while others think children should begin in secondary school Discuss both sides and give your opin v.1

Being able to speak a foreign language is an advantage these days Some people think that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school while others think children should begin in secondary school 1
Many people are likely to rent their home instead of buying them in some countries. Although there are some advantages like no responsibilities of home, can move to new place conveniently. On the other hand, some disadvantages include no particular place to live when rentals are not available. Renting a home contains many advantages. Firstly, We do not have any responsibilities of home, for instance, cleaning house on a daily basis, inspecting the house. Secondly, It is flexible to move when we do not have our own house, to illustrate, if one got a new job 1000 miles away from his own house, one will be forced to sell house for a low price or reject the job offer. Despite, renting a house allows the one to move to a new house in a flexible manner. Moreover, in some developed countries, the cost of buying a house is skyrocketing, so people usually rent rather than buying a house. For example, University students do not actually have enough budget to buy a house, their income through part time jobs are generally used for their daily needs, so they prefer renting a house. In contrast, When there are bad times and no rentals available, own house is the only place which can provide us shelter. Let us take the past situation in Bangalore city, when there was a water shortage, rental homes were totally decreased and maximum people lost their shelter. In some countries like India, owning a house is viewed as a safety. Furthermore, only men who own house were given priority by the girls family. To conclude, even though, many people like to rent a home due to budget constraints or flexibility. In fact, renting a house have equal number of both pros and cons. So a choice must be taken accordingly.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to rent their home
instead
of buying them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages like no responsibilities of home, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to new place
conveniently
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages include no particular place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
when rentals are not available.

Renting a home contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
Firstly
, We do not have any responsibilities of home,
for instance
, cleaning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
on a daily basis, inspecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Secondly
, It is flexible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
when we do not have our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, to illustrate, if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a new job
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
1000 miles
away from his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, one will
be forced
to sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for a low price or reject the job offer. Despite, renting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
Consider replacing "in a flexible manner" with the adverb for "flexible"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a flexible manner
.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, the cost of buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is skyrocketing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
rent
rather
than buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
For example
, University students do not actually have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, their income through
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs are
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for their daily needs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer renting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

In contrast
, When there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
times and no rentals available,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place which can provide us shelter.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take the past situation in Bangalore city, when there was a water shortage, rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
were
totally
decreased and maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their shelter. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries like India, owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is viewed
as a safety.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority by the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "girls'" or "girl's"?
girls
family.

To conclude
,
even though
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to rent a home due to budget constraints or flexibility. In fact, renting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
have equal number of both pros and cons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
a choice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
accordingly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Being able to speak a foreign language is an advantage these days Some people think that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school while others think children should begin in secondary school 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts