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Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. v. 2
Nowadays, both children and parents have a hectic pace of life so it can be hard for the young to learn the skills required to make a meal. However, I believe kids should be taught to cook at an early age as opposed to waiting until adulthood. Many children have a keen interest in food and do not want to rely on their parents for everything. At a young age, it’s a good idea for kids to develop knowledge of food. In this way they will make more informed choices about what they eat and they may refuse junk food which is a popular meal choice in the schoolyard. Additionally, if children are taught to cook they will be more independent and will be able to prepare healthy meals for themselves at times when their parents are too busy with work. There are few people who believe children should only focus on the study and that cooking can be quite dangerous. These parents are quite obsessed with their children’s academic records and want them to only focus on schoolwork. However, in the long run surely it is more important to develop skills that can help you live a healthy life than to do well on one exam. Also, while kitchens can be scary places with knives and fire, if parents are responsible and give supervision to their kids, then cooking will not be a dangerous activity. To conclude, it’s clear that while the importance of study and the dangers of cooking shouldn’t be overlooked, they can both be managed and children should be able to develop their own independence and cooking skills.
Nowadays, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a hectic pace of life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for the young to learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a meal.
However
, I believe kids should
be taught
to cook at an early age as opposed to waiting until adulthood.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a keen interest in food and do not want to rely on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for everything. At a young age, it’s a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for kids to develop knowledge of food. In this way they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more informed choices about what they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
eat and
they may refuse junk food which is a popular meal choice in the schoolyard.
Additionally
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
to cook they will be more independent and will be able to prepare healthy meals for themselves at times when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are too busy with work.

There are few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on the study and that cooking can be quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are quite obsessed with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
academic records and want them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on schoolwork.
However
, in the long run
surely
it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life than to do well on one exam.
Also
, while kitchens can be scary places with knives and fire, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible and give supervision to their kids, then cooking will not be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
activity.

To conclude
, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that while the importance of study and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of cooking shouldn’t
be overlooked
, they can both
be managed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be able to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
independence and cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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