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Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. v. 1
At present the advanced technology is using swiftly and uncontrollably for exchanging information, which is sometimes harmful for society. This essay agrees with this statement and it will examine why this assertion is viable according to me. Let us understand the reason, why control less consuming technology is bringing disadvantages. To begin with, the most inconvenient fact is enhancing crime rate. When a person involve with the modern technology, then they have knowledge about negative methods. So that, they will hack others data and blackmail them for money. For instance, my cousin, worked in an internet cafe; and he was arrested for cyber crime. Besides, the waste of time is another matter which cannot be disregarded as well. Currently, the people, who are addicted for the internet; therefore they are loosing their valuable time. Which brings worse effects in the community. On the other flip side of the coin, when the folks use technology limited, that can bring positive matters for a society. Firstly, developing communication is the biggest point for modern technology. Which might bring the people together and build a better relationship. For example, in Bangladesh, over 78% of the public uses technology for connecting each other. Secondly, exchanging information is one more positive point. By using the internet, the individuals can achieve their necessary knowledge within a second. However, I realize that the person should use limited technology because unlimited consuming internet can bring drawbacks. To conclude, The modern technology has a few positivily as better connection and give information, however over using technology will cause crime and wasting time. Thus, I belive that consume internet properly, which will improve our society.
At present the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is using
swiftly
and
uncontrollably
for exchanging information, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
harmful for society. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement and it will examine why this assertion is viable according to me.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us understand the reason, why control less consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is bringing disadvantages. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most inconvenient fact is enhancing crime rate. When a person involve with the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, then they have knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
methods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, they will hack others data and blackmail them for money.
For instance
, my cousin, worked in an internet
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
; and he
was arrested
for cyber crime.
Besides
, the waste of time is another matter which cannot
be disregarded
as well
.
Currently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who
are addicted
for the internet;
therefore
they are loosing their valuable time.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
worse effects in the community.

On the other flip side of the coin, when the folks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
limited, that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
matters for a society.
Firstly
, developing communication is the biggest point for modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Which might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
together and build a better relationship.
For example
, in Bangladesh, over 78% of the public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for connecting each other.
Secondly
, exchanging information is one more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
point. By using the internet, the individuals can achieve their necessary knowledge within a second.
However
, I realize that the person should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
unlimited consuming internet can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
drawbacks.

To conclude
, The modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a few
Possible spelling mistake found.
positivily
as better connection and give information,
however
over using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will cause crime and wasting time.
Thus
,
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
that consume internet
properly
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our society.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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