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In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with that statement? v.1

In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. v. 1
In this day and age, many hold the view that the use of animals to produce food and various products in different aspects of society namely clothing and medicine is no longer necessary. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly side with this view and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay. These days, advocates of reducing meat intake as the primary food source in daily meals should have their belief justified. In fact, there is a growing concern over the issue related to life-threatening cancers and cardiovascular disease, two of which might be caused by excessive consumption of red meat on a regular and long-term basis. This seems to reflect poor health conditions amongst consumers, raising the demand for appropriate changes in human diets with a view to addressing meat-related health challenges and improving public health. As a result, a myriad of alternative meat products are available in the market. A typical example of these alternatives is apparently exemplified through a plant-based diet, which is scientifically proven to provide the same number of nutrients for consumers as a meat-based diet. If a person consumes mushroom and tofu regularly, their body will still function extremely well on account of high levels of protein in these two ingredients, once thought to be exclusively found in meat. Furthermore, alternatives have been introduced to gradually replace animal products in medical sector and clothing industry. In particular, medical experiments on animals have long been criticised for their inhumanity and brutality, causing animals to suffer for human personal gains. I firmly believe that modern medicine is likely to express a preference for plant-based treatment through the use of herbs and unique plant types such as ginseng to cure diseases, prolong human life expectancy and aid medical practitioners. To a certain extent, the idea of using plants in medicine triggers a change in the attitude of fashion industry. A large number of designers are currently attempting to experiment on plant materials to manufacture high-end clothing lines and accessories, thus safeguarding endangered species including tigers and crocodiles against being killed for fur and skin to cater the needs for luxury coats and handbags. In conclusion, I personally contend that animals should not be taken as a material in fashion industry and medicine, or consumed in our daily meals. Alternatives to animal products are available in form of plants, which seems a better and more humane option to be experimented and further developed in the long run.
In this day and age,
many hold
the view that the
use
of
animals
to produce food and various
products
in
different
aspects of society
namely
clothing and
medicine
is no longer necessary. From my perspective, I
wholeheartedly
side with this view and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay.

These days, advocates of reducing meat intake as the primary food source in daily meals should have their belief justified. In fact, there is a growing concern over the issue related to life-threatening cancers and cardiovascular disease, two of which might
be caused
by excessive consumption of red meat on a regular and long-term basis. This seems to reflect poor health conditions amongst consumers, raising the demand for appropriate
changes
in
human
diets with a view to addressing meat-related health challenges and improving public health.
As a result
, a myriad of
alternative
meat
products
are available in the market. A typical example of these
alternatives
is
apparently
exemplified through a plant-based diet, which is
scientifically
proven to provide the same number of nutrients for consumers as a meat-based diet. If a person consumes mushroom and tofu
regularly
, their body will
still
function
extremely
well on account of high levels of protein in these two ingredients, once
thought
to be exclusively found in meat.

Furthermore
,
alternatives
have
been introduced
to
gradually
replace
animal
products
in medical sector and clothing industry.
In particular
, medical experiments on
animals
have long been
criticised
for their inhumanity and brutality, causing
animals
to suffer for
human
personal gains. I
firmly
believe that modern
medicine
is likely to express a preference for plant-based treatment through the
use
of herbs and unique
plant
types such as ginseng to cure diseases, prolong
human
life expectancy and aid medical practitioners. To a certain extent, the
idea
of using
plants
in
medicine
triggers a
change
in the attitude of fashion industry.
A large number of
designers are
currently
attempting to experiment on
plant
materials to manufacture high-
end
clothing lines and accessories,
thus
safeguarding endangered species including tigers and crocodiles against
being killed
for fur and skin to cater the needs for luxury coats and handbags.

In conclusion
, I
personally
contend that
animals
should not
be taken
as a material in fashion industry and
medicine
, or consumed in our daily meals.
Alternatives
to
animal
products
are available in form of
plants
, which seems a better and more
humane
option to
be experimented
and
further
developed in the long run.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
408 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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