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Choose a teacher you admire and explain why you admire him or her. Pleaseinclude specific examples and details in your explanation. v.2

Choose a teacher you admire and explain why you admire him or her. Pleaseinclude specific examples and details in your explanation. v. 2
In the United Kingdom, old people often are not auto-sufficient which comport the impossibility to stay home by themselves. So, they have to go into a health care structure which is expensive most of the time. In this essay, I will discuss who, between government and families, should pay for these expenses. Firstly, ageing is unavoidable and at a certain point in everyone's life, we will need some help. Families should be the one paying for their relatives' health care expenses. However, not everyone can afford to pay these fees. For example, my aunty when she got injured and could not walk anymore, my family had to put her into a home with other old people where she got twenty-four hours of nurses service, which was very expensive and the whole family was struggling to pay their others everyday bills. Secondly, nurses' fees for an older individual should not be attributed to the rest of the family. Everyone should start saving money in order to be able to support financially their retirement, which can include going into a healthcare clinic. However, not everyone is able to pay bills and also save money during their working lifetime. In this case, the government should take care of those that are in need of financial support and pay for their retirement whenever they are unable to pay for themselves. To sum up, whenever a family cannot afford to pay for their beloved ones the government should pay in order to give a decent life to the old people too.
In the United Kingdom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
are not auto-sufficient which comport the impossibility to stay home by themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go into a health care structure which is expensive most of the time. In this essay, I will discuss who, between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for these expenses.

Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
is unavoidable and at a certain point in everyone's life, we will need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
should be the one paying for their relatives' health care expenses.
However
, not everyone can afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
these fees.
For example
, my aunty when she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
injured and could not walk anymore, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
had to put her into a home with other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
where she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
twenty-four hours of nurses service, which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
was struggling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
their others everyday bills.

Secondly
, nurses' fees for an older individual should not
be attributed
to the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
saving money in order to be able to support
financially
their retirement, which can include going into a healthcare clinic.
However
, not everyone is able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
bills and
also
save money during their working lifetime.
In this case
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take care of those that are in need of financial support and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for their retirement whenever they are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for themselves.

To sum up, whenever a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
cannot afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for their beloved ones the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
in order to give a decent life to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
too.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Choose a teacher you admire and explain why you admire him or her. Pleaseinclude specific examples and details in your explanation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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