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Some people think that children would benefit if they attend nursery school before primary school while some people think that children should stay all day with their families. v.5

Some people think that children would benefit if they attend nursery school before primary school while some people think that children should stay all day with their families. v. 5
Many parents send their 5-or 6 years old children to a primary school directly while a lot of other parents send their children to a nursery school first before sending them to primary schools. Both of these trends have their own benefits and demerits. Parents usually send their kids to nursery schools at a very early age and some people oppose this idea because they feel that those kids should be at home with other family members. First of all, sending children to nursery schools at a very early age gives them the advantages of being around other kids, teachers and in a nice educational environment that motivates them to socially interact and study. This is important in terms of making a proper habit of study and building up punctuation. Those kids spend 4-5 hours at nursery school and can easily spend the remaining time with the family members. The modern educational system is very competitive and getting involved in the education and formal institution in an early age is a better option for a majority of the children. Secondly, many children do not have siblings or other kids at their age and they feel lonely at home. Being in nursery school gives them the opportunity to be around with other kids, to play, to study to make fun and do other activities that would be advantageous for their mental health. On the other hand, sending kids to schools when they are merely 3-4 years old is a bad idea according to many parents. They feel that children should learn the basic things like reading, enumeration etc. from home and only then attend the primary school when they grow to 5-6 years old. This is particularly helpful because parents take care of those things more carefully than others. It is often observed that many students show negative mentality as they were sent to school at a very early age. Moreover, staying at home until a certain age gives both the parents and the children to establish a strong bonding between them. This might be hampered if the child is sent to the nursery school.  Again, parents are considered to be the best teachers and the children at the early age have a lot to learn from their parents. The trend of sending kids to school at a very early age often brings more negative aspects than positive aspects. In conclusion, both views have their merits and demerits and the decision of sending kids to the nursery school should be made based on the convenience of the parents and kids, the educational facility at home and at the nursery school and finally based on the psychological condition of the child. The children should be given every opportunity to grow up healthy, mentally strong and well educated no matter what arrangement suits them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their 5-or 6 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to a primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
directly
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sending
them to primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Both of these trends have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and demerits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should be at home with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
family members.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gives them the advantages of being around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, teachers and in a nice educational environment that motivates them to
socially
interact and study. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in terms of making a proper habit of study and building up punctuation. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
spend 4-5 hours at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and can
easily
spend the remaining time with the family members. The modern educational system is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive and getting involved in the education and formal institution in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is a better option for a majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have siblings or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
they feel lonely at home. Being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
gives them the opportunity to be around with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, to play, to study to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fun and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities that would be advantageous for their mental health.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
when they are
merely
3-4 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. They feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn the basic things like reading, enumeration etc. from home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then attend the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when they grow to 5-6 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. This is
particularly
helpful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take care of those things more
carefully
than others. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
observed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
mentality as they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Moreover
, staying at home until a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gives both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to establish a strong bonding between them. This might
be hampered
if the child is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.  Again,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are considered
to be the best teachers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
have a lot to learn from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
brings more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects.

In conclusion
, both views have their merits and demerits and the decision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
be made
based on the convenience of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, the educational facility at home and at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
finally
based on the psychological condition of the child. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
every opportunity to grow up healthy, mentally strong and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
no matter what arrangement suits them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
76Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think that children would benefit if they attend nursery school before primary school while some people think that children should stay all day with their families. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
471 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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