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Nowadays most of the people believe individuals cannot do something to improve the environment, but Governments and large companies can make a difference. v.1

Nowadays most of the people believe individuals cannot do something to improve the environment, but Governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 1
I completely disagree with the statement that individuals cannot do anything to improve the environment. In fact, if each individual start contributing to improving the surrounding environment, the world would become a beautiful place to live in. Government and large companies have their own role but they can never do anything alone to improve the environment. First of all, the government cannot work in every place to improve the environment. All they can do is impose some rules and enforce those rules so that everyone abides by these rules and do not harm the environment. In reality, the government can take many steps to protect the environment and can take initiatives to improve the environment. This is applicable for large companies as well and these large companies can invest a large amount of money to do so. But ultimately the mass people play the most vital role to decrease the pollution and improve the places they live. The government can shut down many faulty vehicles and factories, can invest for plantation beside the roads and can engage many workers to make the street cleans. But ultimately the mass people’s mentality and activity would make the difference. If each individual plant a single tree in their living place, that would be much more significant than the steps taken by the government and large companies. The awareness of the mass people, their spontaneous and active participation and contribution can improve the environment and the government and large companies can take some steps to inspire them even more.
I completely disagree with the statement that individuals cannot do anything to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. In fact, if each individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
contributing to improving the surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, the world would become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can never do anything alone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the environment.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot work in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. All they can do is impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and enforce those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that everyone abides by these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and do not harm the environment.

In reality, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and can take initiatives to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. This is applicable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as well
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can invest a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount of money to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
ultimately
the mass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
play the most vital role to decrease the pollution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can shut down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
faulty vehicles and factories, can invest for plantation beside the roads and can engage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the street cleans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
ultimately
the mass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s mentality and activity would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the difference. If each individual plant a single tree in their living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, that would be much more significant than the steps taken by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

The awareness of the mass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, their spontaneous and active participation and contribution can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to inspire them even more.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays most of the people believe individuals cannot do something to improve the environment, but Governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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