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Some people think that children would benefit if they attend nursery school before primary school while some people think that children should stay all day with their families. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that children would benefit if they attend nursery school before primary school while some people think that children should stay all day with their families. v. 1
According to some people, young children will benefit if their parents enrolled them in a play school before primary school. Others insist that they should spend more time with their parents during their formative years. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages to sending children to a nursery school. There is no denying the fact that young children need the love and attention of their parents. This, however, does not mean that they should spend the whole day at home in the company of their parents and grandparents. Actually the years between 3 and 5 are crucial for the development of a child. This is a great time for them to get exposed to the world outside their home. A nursery school is the perfect place for this. Most nursery schools operate for only 3 or 4 hours a day. So even if children attend a nursery school they will still have plenty of time to stay with her parents. In other words, the nursery school will have no real impact on her emotional wellbeing or bonding with her parents. At the same time, children can learn a lot of real world skills from the kindergarten. They get to play with several children of their age. This enhances their social and communication skills. Needless to say, children who attend a nursery school are more likely to be extroverts with a sociable nature. Children can also learn the alphabets and numerals at kindergarten. This knowledge will give them an edge over other kids who start school at 5 or 6. Conversely, if young children spend all of their time at home without going to a nursery school, they will find it rather difficult to keep pace with their peers when they start primary school. They will take weeks or even months to get used to the new environment and by then their peers will be way ahead of them. To recapitulate, there are many benefits to enrolling the kids in a nursery school before primary school. Children learn a lot during the years between 3 and 5 and if they go to a nursery school, they will definitely have an edge over those who start school at 5 or 6.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will benefit if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
enrolled them in a play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Others insist that they should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
during their formative years. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages to sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
school.

There is no denying the fact that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and attention of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This,
however
, does not mean that they should spend the whole day at home in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and grandparents. Actually the years between 3 and 5 are crucial for the development of a child. This is a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to the world outside their home. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the perfect place for this. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
operate for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3 or 4 hours a day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they will
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to stay with her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will have no real impact on her emotional
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
or bonding with her parents.

At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
real world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from the kindergarten. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to play with several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of their age. This enhances their social and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are more likely to be extroverts with a sociable nature.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
also
learn the alphabets and numerals at kindergarten. This knowledge will give them an edge over other kids who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at 5 or 6.

Conversely
, if young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend all of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home without going to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they will find it
rather
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with their peers when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They will take weeks or even months to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the new environment and by then their peers will be way ahead of them.

To recapitulate, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to enrolling the kids in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn a lot during the years between 3 and 5 and if they go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they will definitely have an edge over those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at 5 or 6.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children would benefit if they attend nursery school before primary school while some people think that children should stay all day with their families. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
371 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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