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Some people think that children would benefit if they attend nursery school before primary school while some people think that children should stay all day with their families. v.3

No doubt, parents are first teacher of their children but most of time, they spend in schools. A certain group of people believe that teenagers should go to school while starting their further education, whereas others opposite this. I, however, strongly reckon that nursery school have a lots of benefits. This essay will explicate both views in next paragraphs. Generally, kid school have numerous of merits. Firstly, young one's can learn basic education from kinder garten such as how to write and how to hold pencil. To add to more, they can learn starting syllabus in this school such as counting and alfabets. Moreover, children can aware about the situation because in primary school, they would need to spend time with strangers like teachers. Consequently, it can help to utilise time with outside. Additionally, they can learn, how to behave with others, good habits as well. Nevertheless, advocates of families who cogitate that youngsters should spend time in families while going to primary school due to they can learn moral values from their parents and also it can teach children such as they can learn better in families owing to comfortable and friendly way. Furthermore, youngsters can learn many things from family such ad basic knowledge because in nursery school children can learn only educational things but in family, they can learn other things like, respect elders, which is good and bad from them as well. Some people, however, might argue that families are best way to teachers of children but I firmly consider that nursery school can better starting for kids due to they can learn educational things which would bear good fruits to children for their academic study. In conclusion, nursery school, not only tremendous start up of study, but aslo children know about situation that what would happen in primary schools. It can aslo mitigate alone with others.
No doubt, parents are
first
teacher of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of
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time
, they spend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. A certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
while starting their
further
education, whereas others opposite this. I,
however
,
strongly
reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of benefits. This essay will explicate both views in
next
paragraphs.

Generally
, kid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have numerous of merits.
Firstly
, young one's can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
basic education from
Possible spelling mistake found.
kinder garten
such as how to write and how to hold pencil. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to more, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
starting syllabus in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
such as counting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
alfabets
.
Moreover
,
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children
can aware about the situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they would need to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with strangers like teachers.
Consequently
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
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time
with outside.
Additionally
, they can
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learn
, how to behave with others,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits
as well
.

Nevertheless
, advocates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
who cogitate that youngsters should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
while going to primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
due to they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
moral values from their parents and
also
it can teach
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children
such as they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
owing to comfortable and friendly way.
Furthermore
, youngsters can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
such ad basic knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educational things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things like, respect elders, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
from them
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, might argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
A determiner is probably missing here: "are the best".
are best
way to teachers of
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children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
firmly
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can better starting for kids due to they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
educational things which would bear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
fruits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their academic study.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up of study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
know about situation that what would happen in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. It can
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
mitigate alone with others.
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Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people think that young children benefits from going to the nursery school before starting primary school. Other think that it is better for young children to stay all day with the family.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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