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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion? v. 1
Nurturing of children by parents in an environment of luxuries and adversities plays key role in dealing with the problems faced by them in adulthood. It is believed that those children who are raised in rich families are not well-equipped to deal with the adversity of grown up age compared to those who are raised in a poor family. It seems to me that I do agree with this statement because having pre-exposure to the problems faced by them during their teenage life can help them to survive in harsh difficulties of adult life and motivation of improving their social and economic status. Firstly, these children are better equipped to deal with any kind of problem faced by them during their mature age. In their springtime, the environment which is around them teaching how to survive when you limited amount of penny. These can sacrifice their luxuries for essential items and are capable of surviving on low-income of their family. The struggle of their parents sets an excellent example of them to deal with the reality of life during their adult life. Secondly, these are taught necessary skills, how to fulfil their goals when they have limited amount of resources. They started to earn by themselves and doesn’t rely on their parent’s income to fulfil their needs. For example, they started teaching children various subjects at their teenage age in order to earn their pocket money and contribute to their parent’s income. Children of poor family are highly motivated. They can set their high goals to improve their social and economic conditions. for example, Sunder Pichai, CEO of google. Although, he had a poor family background, but, despite of his talent and motivation, yet, he has become a highly paid CEO of the world. To sum up, children with the impecunious family background are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life because of their pre-matured exposure and motivation.
Nurturing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in an environment of luxuries and adversities plays key role in dealing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
faced by them in adulthood. It
is believed
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are raised
in rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not well-equipped to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with the adversity of grown up age compared to those who
are raised
in a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It seems to me that I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-exposure
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
faced by them during their teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to survive in harsh difficulties of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and motivation of improving their social and economic status.

Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are better equipped to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
faced by them during their mature age. In their springtime, the environment which is around them teaching how to survive when you limited amount of penny. These can sacrifice their luxuries for essential items and are capable of surviving on low-income of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. The struggle of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
sets an excellent example of them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with the reality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
during their adult life.

Secondly
, these
are taught
necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, how to fulfil their goals when they have limited amount of resources. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to earn by themselves and doesn’t rely on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
income to fulfil their needs.
For example
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
various subjects at their teenage age in order to earn their pocket money and contribute to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
income.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are
highly
motivated. They can set their high goals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social and economic conditions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, Sunder
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pichai
, CEO of google. Although, he had a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
his talent and motivation,
yet
, he has become a
highly
paid CEO of the world.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with the impecunious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background are better prepared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-matured
exposure and motivation.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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