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More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v.11

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 11
Undoubtedly, a cultural change has shifted the current generation to consider having children at a later age when compare to the past. In this short essay, the advantage and disadvantage of having children at a later age of female will be discussed. There are some predominant reasons for this. To begin with, female born in the 80s and 90s, are provided with equal opportunities as males. Educations are provided to female compared to the past which lead to independent thinking. Further, younger generations on average are getting married at a later age to that of previous generations. This is mainly due to young generations start their career in their 20s and are more focus on their career progression, leaving the decision to form a family in their 30s. The economy of nowadays play a key role in such decision. There is a research in Hong Kong that at least 4 million Hong Kong dollars are required to raise a child nowadays. Many will fear of not able to provide a good living standard to their children. Leaving the decision to have children once they are financially stable. Financially stable family could provide good living standard and educate the children to be a model citizen is one of the most beneficial advantage of having children at a later age. On the downside, the most clinical outcome that is noticeable, is the trend of couples struggling to become parents once they decide to form a family. Infertility rate amongst couple in the past has increased. Growth in technology has seen people are living a longer life. There is currently a growing imbalance of aged people against young children. Yet there’s also technological developments have been seen in helping couples to be fertile and form a family at later age. Therefore, the social impact could not be fully identified of having children at later age. To summarise, it could not be determined the social impact of parents having children at a later age. Couples nowadays has the opportunity to live their desire live whether it is to pursue their careers or forming a family.
Undoubtedly
, a cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has shifted the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation to consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
when compare to the past. In this short essay, the advantage and disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of female will
be discussed
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
predominant reasons for this. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, female born in the 80s and 90s,
are provided
with equal opportunities as males. Educations
are provided
to female compared to the past which lead to independent thinking.
Further
, younger generations on average are getting married at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to that of previous generations. This is
mainly
due to young generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career in their 20s and are more focus on their career progression, leaving the decision to form a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in their 30s. The economy of nowadays play a key role in such decision. There is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
in Hong Kong that at least 4 million Hong Kong dollars
are required
to raise a child nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
will fear of not able to provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living standard to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Leaving the decision to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
once they are
financially
stable.
Financially
stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
could provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living standard and educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be a model citizen is one of the most beneficial advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
age.

On the downside, the most clinical outcome
that is
noticeable, is the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
struggling to become parents once they decide to form a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Infertility rate amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
in the past has increased. Growth in technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living a longer life. There is
currently
a growing imbalance of aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
against young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Yet
there’s
also
technological developments have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
to be fertile and form a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Therefore
, the social impact could not be
fully
identified of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
age.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, it could not
be determined
the social impact of parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Couples
nowadays has the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their desire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
whether it is to pursue their careers or forming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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