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Some people think that children should start school at the age of six or seven while others think that children should start school as young as possible. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that children should start school at the age of six or seven while others think that children should start school as young as possible. v. 2
There are some people who believe that formal schooling should begin early in childhood, on the other hand, others argue that children should attend school at the age of six or seven. In my opinion, it is better to start formal schooling at an early age. Some people believe that children should stay at home until they are six or seven years old. This idea is based on the belief that parents are children's best early teachers. Parents’ interaction with them can build their confidence, stimulate their language development and encourage them to solve problems creatively. It can also be argued that some children are not mature enough for school before the age of six or seven. If they attend school too early, they may develop behaviour problems such as being easily distracted and breaking school rules. Other people, including many parents, believe that an earlier school starting age is beneficial to children's later development. They argue that children's need for social relationships is no less than that of adults. Human beings are social by nature. Children should begin to develop their social skills through the communication with their peers and their teachers as early as possible. After the age of three when young children can generally understand adults’ instructions, they should go to school and become socialised. Also, it is reasonable that children start receiving systematically-planned education earlier in an age of information explosion when people need to gain much more knowledge than people did in the past. My own view is that with a more relaxed and understanding classroom atmosphere, school life should start as early as possible, which makes children better prepared for future competition in many areas.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that formal schooling should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
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early
in childhood,
on the other hand
, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of six or seven.

In my opinion, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
formal schooling at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
age.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should stay at home until they are six or seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is based
on the belief that parents are children's best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
teachers. Parents’ interaction with them can build their confidence, stimulate their language development and encourage them to solve problems
creatively
. It can
also
be argued
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of six or seven. If they attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
, they may develop
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
problems such as being
easily
distracted and breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents, believe that an earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is beneficial to children's later development. They argue that children's need for social relationships is no less than that of adults. Human beings are social by nature.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to develop their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through the communication with their peers and their teachers as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
as possible. After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of three when young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
generally
understand adults’ instructions, they should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and become
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialised' is British English.
socialised
.
Also
, it is reasonable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
receiving
systematically
-planned education earlier in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of information explosion when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to gain much more knowledge than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did in the past.

My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view is that with a more relaxed and understanding classroom atmosphere,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
as possible, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better prepared for future competition in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children should start school at the age of six or seven while others think that children should start school as young as possible. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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