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Some people think that children should start primary school later in life, other that they should start it before 7. Discuss both views and give me your opinion? v.1

Some people think that children should start primary school later in life, other that they should start it before 7. v. 1
Education plays a significant role in human life. Although certain individual think that teenagers must start kindergarten later in life, Other think that it ought to be commenced earlier in 7. I completely agree with the later notion of starting earlier as they cross the toodler age. On the one hand, People are thinking of starting kindergarten earliest at age 7 and I agree with it. Infant usually start recognising their parents at the age of 2 when they are called infant. Slowly they start identifying the people in their third year and at this age their mental ability start to function properly. The brain and other parts of the body start to grow and this stage they are ready to commence their education. For instance, As per the Doctor’s association toodler at the age of 4 are perfect to start their learning as they overall function are ready to take on the challenges. On the other hand, People believing of sending their children later when they are completely grown. Parent are in the opinion that children are too young to start their schooling and they think that their kids are not completely grown physically and mentally. They say that toodler are not in a position to take basic care of going to washroom or where their own clothes. Although certain Toodler is quick to take on a difficult learning task in school. Others are too weak to accept challenges offered to them. For instance, In India, Children are when they understand and recognise their parent properly until then toodler are not admitted into the school for learning. Hence this is the reason why the parent denies in enrolling. In conclusion, while parents vary in their opinions, I strongly support in admitting pre-infant into school as it is the perfect age for learning.
Education plays a significant role in human life. Although certain individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
kindergarten later in life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
The singular proper name 'Other' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "thinks", "thought".
think
that it ought to
be commenced
earlier in 7. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the later notion of starting earlier as they cross the
Possible spelling mistake found.
toodler
age.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are thinking of starting kindergarten earliest at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
7 and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it. Infant
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognising' is British English.
recognising
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 2 when they
are called
infant.
Slowly
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
identifying the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their third year and at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
their mental ability
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
to function
properly
. The brain and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
to grow and this stage they are ready to commence their education.
For instance
, As per the Doctor’s association
Possible spelling mistake found.
toodler
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 4 are perfect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
as they
overall
function are ready to take on the challenges.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believing of sending their children later when they are completely grown.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parent
are in the opinion that children are too young to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
schooling and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their kids are not completely grown
physically
and mentally. They say that
Possible spelling mistake found.
toodler
are not in a position to take basic care of going to washroom or where their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
clothes.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
certain
Possible spelling mistake found.
Toodler
is quick to take on a difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
task
Did you mean "to"?
in
school. Others are too weak to accept challenges offered to them.
For instance
, In India, Children are when they understand and
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
properly
until then
Possible spelling mistake found.
toodler
are not admitted into the school for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this is the reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
denies in enrolling.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
vary in their opinions, I
strongly
support in admitting
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-infant
into school as it is the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children should start primary school later in life, other that they should start it before 7. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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