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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this v.12

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this v. 12
In many areas, new houses are required, but there is limited space available in cities. So, the only place available to build new homes is in the countryside. It is argued by some people that these rural areas should be protected by not building new houses. This essay completely agrees with that statement because the construction of new homes can result in famine and increase pollution. To begin with, scarcity of food can already be observed near prominent cities across the world today. Most of the countryside is occupied by farming land and produces various kinds of food necessary for a living. Hence, the destruction of these agricultural lands for the purpose of building new homes can cause food deprivation. For example, research conducted by a notable sociologist states that, if the agricultural land in the countryside continues to decrease then the scarcity of food may increase to 40% by 2030. Furthermore, increasing pollution with cutting down of trees near the countryside is a prevailing concern for the people. With the expansion of cities, the area near villages and countryside are becoming deserted due to lack of vegetation. As a result, the oxygen levels in the atmosphere are reduced with a rise in pollution causing severe health concerns. For instance, an article in the New York Times states that 15% more pollution is recorded in the USA with the expansion of cities beyond the outskirts. In conclusion, the construction of new homes in the villages and countryside should not be allowed as it may elevate the pollution problems and also result in a shortage of food
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are required
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there
is limited
space available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place available to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that these rural areas should
be protected
by not building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
can result in famine and increase pollution.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can already
be observed
near prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
across the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is occupied
by farming land and produces various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
necessary for a living.
Hence
, the destruction of these agricultural lands for the purpose of building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
deprivation.
For example
, research conducted by a notable sociologist states that, if the agricultural land in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
continues to decrease then the scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may increase to 40% by 2030.

Furthermore
, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
with cutting down of trees near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is a prevailing concern for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. With the expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the area near villages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
are becoming deserted due to lack of vegetation.
As a result
, the oxygen levels in the atmosphere are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
with a rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
causing severe health concerns.
For instance
, an article in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York Times states that 15% more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is recorded
in the USA with the expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
beyond the outskirts.

In conclusion
, the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the villages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
as it may elevate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
problems and
also
result in a shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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