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Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear. v. 1
In this modern era of technological dominance, everyday a new industry is on the verge of extinction and the rapid growth of e-books, gave many the idea that paper books are no exclusion. Though a large number of users still prefer the traditionally made books. I, myself, stand somewhere in between of these radical views. On the one hand, electronic books offer a vast range of books in an incredibly low price and space. With less than a few dollars, hundreds of books could be purchased and stored on a light portable device. This brings us to our second point, being the ecological benefits offered by e-books. Millions of trees are cut each year to provide publishers with their paper needs and this problem would be entirely resolved by investing more in the e-book industry. On the other hand, many have adopted a defensive attitude towards technology and strictly believe nothing can replace the impression of holding a real book. Scientifically speaking, they are pointing to the fact that a paper book engages at least three more of our senses compared to e-books. Additionally, chemists have been working on the recyclable paper formula for some time and they are not far from mass-produced, which could be a huge achievement to compete with eco-friendly e-books. Finally, I value each sides’ opinions and believe that both electronic and paper books are viable options for a certain use. E-books are far more efficient in the practical aspects and could easily replace bulky text books students are forced to carry around every day. But paper books are unrivalled when one wants to truly feel what the contents has to present. To conclude, I believe the extinction of paper books are improbable and the future, I visualize, is a future of the rivalry between two strong industries to satisfy their own customers.
In this modern era of technological dominance,
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
a new industry is on the verge of extinction and the rapid growth of e-books, gave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are no exclusion.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
users
still
prefer the
traditionally
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. I, myself, stand somewhere in between of these radical views.

On the one hand, electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
offer a vast range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in an
incredibly
low price and space. With less than a few dollars, hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
and stored on a light portable device. This brings us to our second point, being the ecological benefits offered by e-books. Millions of trees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
each year to provide publishers with their paper needs and this problem would be
entirely
resolved by investing more in the e-book industry.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
have adopted a defensive attitude towards technology and
strictly
believe nothing can replace the impression of holding a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Scientifically
speaking, they are pointing to the fact that a paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
engages at least three more of our senses compared to e-books.
Additionally
, chemists have been working on the recyclable paper formula for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they are not far from mass-produced, which could be a huge achievement to compete with eco-friendly e-books.

Finally
, I value each sides’ opinions and believe that both electronic and paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are viable options for a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. E-books are far more efficient in the practical aspects and could
easily
replace bulky text
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
students
are forced
to carry around every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are unrivalled
when one wants to
truly
feel what the contents
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
to present.

To conclude
, I believe the extinction of paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are improbable and the future, I visualize, is a future of the rivalry between two strong industries to satisfy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customers.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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