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Some people think that children should be taught how to cook and grow food at school. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that children should be taught how to cook and grow food at school. v. 1
It is commonly believed by many that the youngsters should learn skills related to cooking and farming at the young age. This essay completely agrees with the above statement and will suggest that learning cooking at the earlier age can teach children to stay independent. Likewise, awareness of farming can help children to understand the importance of food. To begin with, those who opine that the kids should be taught farming skills in the childhood can easily point its importance in the real life. That is to say, it is essential for the youngsters to understand the hard work involved in growing food, starting from sowing a seed and then providing essential fertilisers and pesticides for their proper growth, followed by watering it every day until it is ready to eat. As a result, they will understand the value of the food and will consider before wasting it. For instance, according to the recent research conducted by the New York Times, kids born and brought in rural areas are less likely to waste food as compared to the urban kids because they know the dedication involved in growing food and therefore understand its value. Furthermore, learning cooking skills in the earlier age for children is advantageous because it not only gives them the ability to cook food independently, but also allows them to stay away from the junk food. In other words, one has to cook food in the life, regardless of achieving the optimal level of success and it would be easy if they have the prior knowledge of cooking food. Additionally, if a person has an experience of cooking, he can cook even if he is sitting in the other part of the world, which reduces the chances of intake of already cooked frozen food. Thus, cooking skills are long term skills and will always help an individual to eat freshly cooked homemade healthy food. To conclude, I believe children should learn cooking and farming skills at the young age as it helps them to understand the importance of wasting food along with making them independent.
It is
commonly
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the youngsters should learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
related to cooking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
at the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the above statement and will suggest that learning cooking at the earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stay independent.
Likewise
, awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the importance of food.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, those who opine that the kids should
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in the childhood can
easily
point its importance in the real life.
That is
to say, it is essential for the youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work involved in growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, starting from sowing a seed and then providing essential
Possible spelling mistake. 'fertilisers' is British English.
fertilisers
and pesticides for their proper growth, followed by watering it every day until it is ready to eat.
As a result
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and will consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
wasting it.
For instance
, according to the recent research conducted by the New York Times, kids born and brought in rural areas are less likely to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as compared to the urban kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know the dedication involved in growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
its value.

Furthermore
, learning cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in the earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is advantageous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives them the ability to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
independently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to stay away from the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In other words
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the life, regardless of achieving the optimal level of success and it would be easy if they have the prior knowledge of cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Additionally
, if a person has an experience of cooking, he can cook even if he is sitting in the other part of the world, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the chances of intake of already cooked frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Thus
, cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are long
Consider using a past participle here: "termed".
term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and will always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an individual to eat
freshly
cooked homemade healthy food.

To conclude
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn cooking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the importance of wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
along with making them independent.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children should be taught how to cook and grow food at school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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