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Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that? v.3

Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that? v. 3
It is considered by some people that the art of raising food and cooking should include in the education curriculum. In my opinion, this trend will bring a sense of independence and instil the importance of meal in children. To embark with the pivotal rationale behind the topic at hand is to procure a good healthy lifestyle. Owing to modernization, the pace of life has escalated rampantly over the past few decades. Consequently, youngsters are busier at the professional and academic front. As s result, they do not have adequate time to spare in certain culinary activities; therefore, they prefer to eat a ready-made meal, which causes some deleterious impact on their health. Hence, introducing healthy cooking in schools has miscellaneous benefits. Firstly, nutrition knowledge gives a sense of independence that they can perform any task independently and can survive in any tough situation. Such self-reliance will not only boost an overall personality, but also surge self-confidence. Moving forth, This phenomenon can yield an undue burden on juveniles as they already burdened with studies and get tired of sitting for long hours in classes. However, planting and cooking skills help them to value foods. Because, by indulging in certain farming pursuits, they get to know about the great effort which is required to bring food on the table; hence, they become better eaters and resist the urge to waste it. Moreover, it can aid children in acceptance of responsibility. Each child has a task to complete to contribute to the meal growing and preparation. To encapsulate, although, additional academic subject of agriculture and cooking will create an extra burden on children, it will make them more independent and confident.
It
is considered
by
some
people
that the art of raising food and cooking should include in the education curriculum. In my opinion, this trend will bring a sense of independence and
instil
the importance of meal in children.

To embark with the pivotal rationale behind the topic at hand is to procure a
good
healthy lifestyle. Owing to modernization, the pace of life has escalated
rampantly
over the past few decades.
Consequently
, youngsters are busier at the professional and academic front. As s result, they do not have adequate time to spare in certain culinary activities;
therefore
, they prefer to eat a ready-made meal, which causes
some
deleterious impact on their health.
Hence
, introducing healthy cooking in schools has miscellaneous benefits.
Firstly
, nutrition knowledge gives a sense of independence that they can perform any task
independently
and can survive in any tough situation. Such self-reliance will not
only
boost an
overall
personality,
but
also
surge self-confidence.

Moving forth, This phenomenon can yield an undue burden on juveniles as they already burdened with studies and
get
tired of sitting for long hours in classes.
However
, planting and cooking
skills
help
them to value foods.
Because
, by indulging in certain farming pursuits, they
get
to know about the great effort which
is required
to bring food on the table;
hence
, they become better eaters and resist the urge to waste it.
Moreover
, it can aid children in acceptance of responsibility. Each child has a task to complete to contribute to the meal growing and preparation.

To encapsulate, although, additional academic subject of agriculture and cooking will create an extra burden on children, it will
make
them more independent and confident.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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