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Some people think that changes in their lives are essential, while others, however, are uncomfortable with change, and prefer to continue living in the same place or working in the same job, etc. v.1

Some people think that changes in their lives are essential, while others, however, are uncomfortable with change, and prefer to continue living in the same place or working in the same job, etc. v. 1
A Life is a journey or a way of living together whether we want to live happily or not, it depends on the deeds, the person is doing. Some people think that changes are eternal which brings euphoric feelings and aspiration in life, on the other hand, others feel that sometimes change in life can bring a humiliation in life. Although, some people, who are leading a luxurious life, have a desire for change in their life. They might be bored with their day-to-day chores and their activities such as going to the office, doing the same work because of which they lost the zeal in their interest. So, people feel that change in their roles, lifestyle, working in a new location can bring a stimulus in their blood so that they feel adept in working with the new environment, people and their roles. Working in the same place or job can make them sick in responding to the situation and finally they enter into the routine and banal life. Hence they want to have a new role of life. Some other people feel that sometimes a change in life can a have a negative impact on future. Suppose, the family who is leading a prosperous life with their family members do not want to anticipate a change in their lifestyle. Because they think that, a change may weaken their relationships, health characteristics, status etc. In addition to this, it might be possible for a change to make the people who are leading a lucrative life to starvation, bankruptcy or even decrease their status. So people hesitate to welcome this inevitable change in their journey. But, finally, getting a change in life or not, does not lie in our hands or not in the hands of prophecy. Sometimes, a change can make a footwear stitcher to become a president of America, like Abraham Lincoln, while, on the other hand, it can turn a person, who is having enough money in Swiss bank account to lifelong imprisonment. So everybody needs to agree that, a change is inevitable, and follow his/her path that comes in front of the way. Even though the path is covered with flowers, or it is cluttered. For example, how Mukesh Ambani started his business with petrol pump, sweet shop and dramatically became a billionaire and holding a world famous oil refinery. On the other hand, Gali Janardhan Reddy who was very rich and a member of parliament, but a small change in life made him go to jail because of his disproportionate assets being a responsible person. So, even if a change comes in life or not, one should have integrity in performing the deeds to convert that change into fruitful one.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is a journey or a way of living together whether we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
or not, it depends on the deeds, the person is doing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are eternal which brings euphoric feelings and aspiration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, others
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feel
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can bring a humiliation in life.

Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are leading a luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, have a desire for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They might
be bored
with their day-to-day chores and their activities such as going to the office, doing the same work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they lost the zeal in their interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in their roles, lifestyle, working in a new location can bring a stimulus in their blood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
adept in working with the new environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their roles. Working in the same place or job can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them sick in responding to the situation and
finally
they enter into the routine and banal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
they want to have a new role of life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can a have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on future. Suppose, the family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is leading a prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with their family members do not want to anticipate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in their lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
may weaken their relationships, health characteristics, status etc.
In addition
to this, it might be possible for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are leading a lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to starvation, bankruptcy or even decrease their status.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
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people
hesitate to welcome this inevitable
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change
in their journey.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
finally
, getting a
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change
in
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life
or not, does not lie in our
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hands
or not in the
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hands
of prophecy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a footwear
Possible spelling mistake found.
stitcher
to become a president of America, like Abraham Lincoln, while, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, it can turn a person,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money in Swiss bank account to lifelong imprisonment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
everybody needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is inevitable, and follow his/her path that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in front of the way.
Even though
the path
is covered
with flowers, or it
is cluttered
.
For example
, how Mukesh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambani
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his business with petrol pump, sweet shop and
dramatically
became a billionaire and holding a world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
oil refinery. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gali
Possible spelling mistake found.
Janardhan
Reddy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rich and a member of parliament,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
made him go to jail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his disproportionate assets being a responsible person.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, even if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or not, one should have integrity in performing the deeds to convert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
into fruitful one.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think that changes in their lives are essential, while others, however, are uncomfortable with change, and prefer to continue living in the same place or working in the same job, etc. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
455 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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