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Many people believe students would benefit from spending some time away from studying between secondary school (high school) and university. v.1

Many people believe students would benefit from spending some time away from studying between secondary school (high school) and university. v. 1
Different people have a varied opinion about completing education. Some consider that discontinuing studies for a small duration between high school and secondary is advantageous for students. However, I do not agree with the above-mentioned outlook and prefer completing entire process without interruption. In this essay, we will analyse how the personal and professional life of students is afflicted, if they decide to halt studies for a shorter interval. To begin with, many pupils opt for taking rest in between qualifications. Such students can lose interest in joining back and enjoy continuing the activity undertaken by them in break time. These students can still get employed but the chances of getting promoted are reduced and hence, growth in income is also restricted. Thus, it is apparent that choosing a break in the study can affect their upcoming professional life. Some students might still be able to continue studies after coming back from break, but the time taken for getting qualified will be more than the other camp. As a result, there is a possibility that employers will prefer younger employees than the matured one with the same level of education. This will create difficulties for the students in satisfying their job needs and thereby, resulting in the stressful life. Therefore, the harms of halting education in between for some interval are difficult to debunk. After analysing the areas of professional and personal development of students opting for leave in studies, it is clear that this particular concept can constrain their growth. As has been proven, that students should not prefer taking gaps in education. It is thus expected that educational institutions will educate them about the after effects of disrupting studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a varied opinion about completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
consider that discontinuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
duration between high school and secondary is advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above-mentioned outlook and prefer completing entire process without interruption. In this essay, we will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
how the personal and professional life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is afflicted
, if they decide to halt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
for a shorter interval.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils opt for taking rest in between qualifications. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can lose interest in joining back and enjoy continuing the activity undertaken by them in break time. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the chances of getting promoted are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and
hence
, growth in income is
also
restricted.
Thus
, it is apparent that choosing a break in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
can affect their upcoming professional life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
still
be able to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after coming back from break,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the time taken for getting qualified will be more than the other camp.
As a result
, there is a possibility that employers will prefer younger employees than the matured one with the same level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This will create difficulties for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in satisfying their job needs and thereby, resulting in the stressful life.
Therefore
, the harms of halting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in between for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "intervals"?
interval
are difficult to debunk.

After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the areas of professional and personal development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opting for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this particular concept can constrain their growth. As has
been proven
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not prefer taking gaps in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It is
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that educational institutions will educate them about the after effects of disrupting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe students would benefit from spending some time away from studying between secondary school (high school) and university. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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