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Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 5
It is considered by some that all offenders should receive custodial sentences, while there are others who think that certain offenders can volunteer for the community as punishments. In my opinion, I completely agree with the latter opinion for two reasons. Firstly, punishment by doing community work can help the government solve the prison overcrowding problem and reduce the high cost of imprisonment. Particularly, not all offenders are same, some people commit minor crimes such as shoplifting or pickpocketing, while others commit serious crimes such as premeditated murder or rape. If all lawbreakers receive custodial sentences, it will not have sufficient space in prison for them. Instead, if the government can classify prisoners and let non-dangerous prisoners do volunteer work for the community, it can reduce the prison population and cost. Secondly, doing unpaid community services is an effective way to reform offenders. Specifically, it is indisputable that community work provides the opportunity for offenders to pay back the society and assist in their rehabilitation by developing and improving work-related skills. Indeed, offenders given work opportunities and skills are less likely to reoffend. Notably, community work can increase offenders’ self-esteem and well-being and give their lives new purpose and direction. Furthermore, clarifying low-risk prisoners and let them work for the community can reduce inmate idleness and avoid the negative influence of high-risk criminals. In conclusion, the benefits of community-based punishments are too great to ignore. It not only helps the government tackle the prison overcrowding problems and its detrimental effects, but also helps offenders make a fresh start in their life.
It
is considered
by
some
that all
offenders
should receive custodial sentences, while there are others who
think
that certain
offenders
can volunteer for the
community
as punishments. In my opinion, I completely
agree
with the latter opinion for two reasons.

Firstly
, punishment by doing
community
work
can
help
the
government
solve the
prison
overcrowding problem and
reduce
the high cost of imprisonment.
Particularly
, not all
offenders
are same,
some
people
commit minor crimes such as shoplifting or
pickpocketing
, while others commit serious crimes such as premeditated murder or rape. If all lawbreakers receive custodial sentences, it will not have sufficient space in
prison
for them.
Instead
, if the
government
can classify prisoners and
let
non-
dangerous
prisoners do volunteer
work
for the
community
, it can
reduce
the
prison
population and cost.

Secondly
, doing unpaid
community
services is an effective way to reform
offenders
.
Specifically
, it is indisputable that
community
work
provides the opportunity for
offenders
to pay back the society and assist in their rehabilitation by developing and improving work-related
skills
.
Indeed
,
offenders
given
work
opportunities and
skills
are less likely to
reoffend
.
Notably
,
community
work
can increase
offenders’
self-esteem and well-being and give their
lives
new purpose and direction.
Furthermore
, clarifying low-
risk
prisoners and
let
them
work
for the
community
can
reduce
inmate idleness and avoid the
negative
influence of high-
risk
criminals.

In conclusion
, the benefits of community-based punishments are too great to
ignore
. It not
only
helps
the
government
tackle the
prison
overcrowding problems and its detrimental effects,
but
also
helps
offenders
make
a fresh
start
in their life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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