Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 5
It is considered by some that all offenders should receive custodial sentences, while there are others who think that certain offenders can volunteer for the community as punishments. In my opinion, I completely agree with the latter opinion for two reasons. Firstly, punishment by doing community work can help the government solve the prison overcrowding problem and reduce the high cost of imprisonment. Particularly, not all offenders are same, some people commit minor crimes such as shoplifting or pickpocketing, while others commit serious crimes such as premeditated murder or rape. If all lawbreakers receive custodial sentences, it will not have sufficient space in prison for them. Instead, if the government can classify prisoners and let non-dangerous prisoners do volunteer work for the community, it can reduce the prison population and cost. Secondly, doing unpaid community services is an effective way to reform offenders. Specifically, it is indisputable that community work provides the opportunity for offenders to pay back the society and assist in their rehabilitation by developing and improving work-related skills. Indeed, offenders given work opportunities and skills are less likely to reoffend. Notably, community work can increase offenders’ self-esteem and well-being and give their lives new purpose and direction. Furthermore, clarifying low-risk prisoners and let them work for the community can reduce inmate idleness and avoid the negative influence of high-risk criminals. In conclusion, the benefits of community-based punishments are too great to ignore. It not only helps the government tackle the prison overcrowding problems and its detrimental effects, but also helps offenders make a fresh start in their life.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
should receive custodial sentences, while there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
can volunteer for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
as punishments. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter opinion for two reasons.

Firstly
, punishment by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
overcrowding problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the high cost of imprisonment.
Particularly
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
are same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commit minor crimes such as shoplifting or
Possible spelling mistake found.
pickpocketing
, while others commit serious crimes such as premeditated murder or rape. If all lawbreakers receive custodial sentences, it will not have sufficient space in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
for them.
Instead
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can classify prisoners and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
non-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
prisoners do volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
population and cost.

Secondly
, doing unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
services is an effective way to reform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
.
Specifically
, it is indisputable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
provides the opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
to pay back the society and assist in their rehabilitation by developing and improving work-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
opportunities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are less likely to
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
.
Notably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders’
self-esteem and well-being and give their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
new purpose and direction.
Furthermore
, clarifying low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
prisoners and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
inmate idleness and avoid the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence of high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
criminals.

In conclusion
, the benefits of community-based punishments are too great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
overcrowding problems and its detrimental effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in their life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts