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Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 6
Social networking sites, for example Facebook, are being considered to have a detrimental effect on individual people and also the local community. In my opinion, they benefit more individually, however, I agree they have a negative impact on the community. Facebook has done exceptionally great job by bringing communities together. This has been a platform for the people to work together. Because of the social media, information has been made available easily. For instance, there can be virtual communities on the social media, the interested youth can join such communities to learn. As there are multiple people exploring and learning the same thing they can share their ideas on the platform that others can also learn from. This can be very helpful for the development of an individual. Secondly, there can be virtual communities for anything and everything, these platforms can be used to share false information among the members as a result, it might create a chaos in the physical world which can potentially grow to a larger area. One such incident happened a year ago in Mumbai, a false information of higher secondary exams being cancelled was spread by a Facebook page, the fake information created chaos among the candidates. This then took great efforts to manage the situations by the authorities. These are the events that turn out to be harmful to the society due to social media. In conclusion, Facebook and other such platforms are a great place to learn and share information. As the whole world is connected to the platform, a lot of sharing of ideas happens, the members learn a lot due to it. However, there can be tricky situations, like spreading of false news which really have a damaging effect on the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking sites,
for example
Facebook, are
being considered
to have a detrimental effect on individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
also
the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. In my opinion, they benefit more
individually
,
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
they have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the community.

Facebook has done
exceptionally
great job by bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
together. This has been a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to work together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has
been made
available
easily
.
For instance
, there can be virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media, the interested youth can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
. As there are multiple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
exploring and learning the same thing they can share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
that others can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from. This can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for the development of an individual.

Secondly
, there can be virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
for anything and everything, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to share false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
among the members
as a result
, it might create a chaos in the physical world which can
potentially
grow to a larger area. One such incident happened a year ago in Mumbai, a false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of higher secondary exams
being cancelled
was spread
by a Facebook page, the fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
created chaos among the candidates. This then took great efforts to manage the situations by the authorities. These are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that turn out to be harmful to the society due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

In conclusion
, Facebook and other such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
are a great place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. As the whole world
is connected
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sharing of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
happens, the members
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a lot due to it.
However
, there can be tricky situations, like spreading of false news which
really
have a damaging effect on the society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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