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Some people think that cars should be banned from large cities. v.4

Some people think that cars should be banned from large cities. v. 4
Two common problems usually faced by a big city - traffic jam and air pollution, which are caused by many factors. However, most people tend to blame a large number of private cars as the greatest contributing factor which leads to the some people’s opinion claiming that the cars must be prohibited in the town. Although this statement seems plausible, I totally disagree that this kind of vehicle should be banned from the metropolis. The cars are not only beneficial for the citizen as a user but also for the state, in increasing its income. If the existence of the cars in the large city is forbidden by the government, there will not be car trade in that town which consequently will reduce total sales of cars nationwide. This finally will decrease nation's earning because car companies will drop their production for that country and the tax revenue from the car sales will diminish automatically. Furthermore, this will also reduce annual car-tax revenue in which for some countries, this kind of tax is their main earning source. On the other hand, this will cause another problem, for the car owners in particular, in which the government should be involved to overcome this problem. By banning the use of cars in the big city, cars owned by the city inhabitants will be useless and eventually they must sell their cars because this can harm them financially. If we look at the large total number of cars must be sold and the fact that the owners do not want to sell their cars at a lower price, this might be a difficult problem to be solved. Finally, a huge budget must be allocated to improve the alternative vehicles in the city and many countries will not be able to eventually do it successfully. The car is considered as one of the most useful inventions ever and banning them is not a pragmatic solution. We should rather take alternative initiatives to reduce the traffic jam and air pollution in big cities. Personally, I strongly believe that prohibiting people to drive cars in big cities will generate some problems both for the state and the owners. Even though the cars contribute to the occurrence of traffic jam and air pollution in some cities, it must be the other ways to combat those problems without banning the existence of cars, such as creating underground transportation and green energies as a car fuel.
Two common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
usually
faced by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
traffic jam and air pollution, which
are caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors.
However
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to blame
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
as the greatest contributing factor which leads to the
Did you mean "same"?
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s opinion claiming that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prohibited
in the town. Although this statement seems plausible, I
totally
disagree that this kind of vehicle should
be banned
from the metropolis.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial for the citizen as a user
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the state, in increasing its income. If the existence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in the large city
is forbidden
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, there will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
trade in that town which
consequently
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
total sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
nationwide. This
finally
will decrease nation's earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will drop their production for that country and the tax revenue from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
sales will diminish
automatically
.
Furthermore
, this will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
annual car-tax revenue in which for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, this kind of tax is their main earning source.

On the other hand
, this will cause another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners
in particular
, in which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
be involved
to overcome this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. By banning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by the city inhabitants will be useless and
eventually
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this can harm them
financially
. If we look at the large total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be sold
and the fact that the owners do not want to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
at a lower price, this might be a difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to
be solved
.

Finally
, a huge budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be allocated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the alternative vehicles in the city and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries will not be able to
eventually
do it
successfully
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is considered
as one of the most useful inventions ever and banning them is not a pragmatic solution. We should
rather
take alternative initiatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic jam and air pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
cities.

Personally
, I
strongly
believe that prohibiting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
both for the state and the owners.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
contribute to the occurrence of traffic jam and air pollution in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be the other ways to combat those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
without banning the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, such as creating underground transportation and green energies as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
fuel.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that cars should be banned from large cities. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
407 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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