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Some people think that cars should be banned from large cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Some people think that cars should be banned from large cities. with this opinion? v. 2
Some people believe that numerous major cities across the world are facing problems with the increasing number of cars and that it should be banned completely. In this essay, I largely disagree with this approach. First of all, there are many benefits of cars, as it provides a comfortable and safe journey, especially when travelling long journeys. Furthermore, it saves time, which is much needed in today's fast paced life where people give utmost importance to the faster means of transport for attending school, events and business meetings. By travelling in own car, one can be saved from the viral infections that can be easily caught while travelling in a public transport. Lastly, during emergency conditions in the late hours, where a patient has to reach hospital quickly, cars come out to be handy option. Looking at these benefits, it would not be good to stop people using cars, as it invokes hard feelings among people affluent enough to own car and can also the economy of the city and subsequently the country. However, there are some problems caused by the increasing number of cars such as congestion, traffic and an increase in the pollution level. Cars move at a snail's pace during peak hours which increases travel time manifolds. Then, due to increased pollution, issues like global warming and climate change have become burning issues. To conclude, it is not a wise decision to stop people using the cars, as it saves time while travelling long journeys and there are other benefits associated, but, I think the government should encourage people to not use cars for short distances and should provide aid in the form of subsidy to encourage the people in buying environment-friendly cars.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that numerous major cities across the world are facing problems with the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and that it should
be banned
completely. In this essay, I
largely
disagree with this approach.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, as it provides a comfortable and safe journey,
especially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
long journeys.
Furthermore
, it saves time, which is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced life where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give utmost importance to the faster means of transport for attending school,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and business meetings. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, one can
be saved
from the viral infections that can be
easily
caught while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "public transport".
a public transport
.
Lastly
, during emergency conditions in the late hours, where a patient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
reach hospital
quickly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out to be handy option. Looking at these benefits, it would not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, as it invokes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
feelings among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
affluent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and can
also
the economy of the city and
subsequently
the country.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems caused by the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
such as congestion, traffic and an increase in the pollution level.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
at a snail's pace during peak hours which increases travel time manifolds. Then, due to increased pollution, issues like global warming and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
have become burning issues.

To conclude
, it is not a wise decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, as it saves time while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
long journeys and there are other benefits associated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for short distances and should provide aid in the form of subsidy to encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in buying environment-friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that cars should be banned from large cities. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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