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In some cities people are choosing cars instead of bicycles whiles in other cities Riding bikes are replacing cars Why is this the case Which development do you think is better v.1

In some cities people are choosing cars instead of bicycles whiles in other cities Riding bikes are replacing cars Why is this the case Which development do you think is better v. 1
Many argue that the travelling abroad for work or pleasure is the sole purpose of learning a foreign language, while others believe that there are many other reasons as well. In my opinion, people have to learn a foreign language, even if they do not have to travel to other countries for example as a medium of education and for religious purposes. With the globalization of trade and advancement of the transport industry, the frequency of people travelling abroad for work and/or pleasure is on the rise. Understandably, one has to learn the language of the country where he or she is travelling in order to communicate with the natives. Hence, many people believe that the only factor to learn their language is to overcome this language barrier. That is why many European countries would require a certified language exam qualification to issue a work visa. In my view, this might be a valid purpose to learn a language, but there are others as well. One probable cause to develop skills in a foreign language is to gain an education in many countries. In many Asian countries, for instance, the medium of education is English. So the children have to learn this language right from the beginning of their educational career. Moreover, most of the books are also written in English because it is being taught throughout the world. Finally, a language is also learnt to understand the religious books and scriptures. For example, the Holy book of Muslims is basically written in Arabic. Likewise, the understanding of the religious scriptures of Jews and Christians would require some knowledge of Hebrew and Greek. Admittedly, their translations are available in many local languages for the common people; those who tend to become religious scholars would be required to learn those languages. To conclude, although it is very crucial to learn a foreign language for travelling to another country, I believe that it is not the sole purpose, and most people are learning it to attain their educational and religious goals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad for work or pleasure is the sole purpose of learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, while others believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons
as well
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, even if they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for example
as a medium of education and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
purposes.

With the globalization of trade and advancement of the transport industry, the frequency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad for work and/or pleasure is on the rise.
Understandably
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where he or she is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in order to communicate with the natives.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is to overcome this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would require a certified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
exam qualification to issue a work visa. In my view, this might be a valid purpose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are others
as well
.

One probable cause to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is to gain an education in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
for instance
, the medium of education is English.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
right from the beginning of their educational career.
Moreover
, most of the books are
also
written in English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
being taught
throughout the world.

Finally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
books and scriptures.
For example
, the Holy book of Muslims is
basically
written in Arabic.
Likewise
, the understanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
scriptures of Jews and Christians would require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge of Hebrew and Greek.
Admittedly
, their translations are available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
for the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
; those who tend to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
scholars would
be required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
those languages.

To conclude
, although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, I believe that it is not the sole purpose, and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are learning it to attain their educational and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
goals.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay In some cities people are choosing cars instead of bicycles whiles in other cities Riding bikes are replacing cars Why is this the case Which development do you think is better v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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