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Some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that, videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that, videos, films and computers should be used instead. v. 2
There is an opinion that books should be replaced by computers and videos for educational purposes in schools. I totally agree with this statement because it obviates the need for carrying heavy books and there are more features that computers provide for the education. The principal reason why I believe that computers should replace books at schools is that it is definitely much more convenient. More specifically, since modern technologies allow students to upload hundreds of e-books and educational movies to their computers, there is already no need for them to pack their bags with big books. Indeed, it is easier to bring one thin, light, personal laptop to classes rather than carrying a number of heavy books. In addition, this option is less expensive. For example, purchasing e-books for laptops are usually significantly cheaper rather than traditional ones. Another important aspect is that computers pose a large number of features that books cannot provide. In other words, laptops have a flexible and convenient system of adjustments. For instance, students are capable of regulating the level of brightness and contrast of their laptop screen, which makes the process of reading and watching educational material less detrimental for eyes. Moreover, the reading apps allow students to save bookmarks in special folders and listen to the audio version which otherwise would be impossible if students used traditional book format. In conclusion, I completely agree that educational institutions should replace books with computers for learning applications because certain convenient devices such as laptops are able to obviate the necessity of bringing heavy books to school and also give students many useful features.
There is an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
be replaced
by computers and videos for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
purposes in schools. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it obviates the need for carrying heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and there are more features that computers provide for the education.

The principal reason why I believe that computers should replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
at schools is that it is definitely much more convenient. More
specifically
, since modern technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to upload hundreds of e-books and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
movies to their computers, there is already no need for them to pack their bags with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Indeed
, it is easier to bring one thin, light, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
to classes
rather
than carrying a number of heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
In addition
, this option is less expensive.
For example
, purchasing e-books for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
are
usually
significantly
cheaper
rather
than traditional ones.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect is that computers pose
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
features that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
cannot provide.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
have a flexible and convenient system of adjustments.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are capable of regulating the level of brightness and contrast of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
screen, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the process of reading and watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
material less detrimental for eyes.
Moreover
, the reading apps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to save bookmarks in special folders and listen to the audio version which
otherwise
would be impossible if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
format.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions should replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with computers for learning applications
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
certain convenient devices such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
are able to obviate the necessity of bringing heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to school and
also
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful features.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that, videos, films and computers should be used instead. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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